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Tag Archives: sex

Dear Orlando,

Hi.  Long time no hear.  What’s up with that?

I hear you’ve given up on that movie that you were going to do.  I think it’s for the best, although I’m not sure how I feel about you doing a kung-fu flick.  It’s OK, I know the reason you dropped out is that you didn’t want to be away from me for that long.  You’re so considerate! Read More »


(Mr. Rizzuto said part one wasn’t as hot as he thought it would be.  You can read it here.)

One night in Wanda’s boudoir….

Orlando Bloom: Well, here we are again my dear.

Wanda Rizzuto: Here we are.

OB: Sorry about last time.

WR: Don’t worry about it sweetie.

OB: So, are you ready?

WR: Did you bring condoms? Read More »

If you’ve been following my adventures you know that my husband, Mr. Rizzuto, likes it when I talk dirty.  He’s been encouraging me to explore my inner-romance novelist.  He even gave me the outline of a story, which I will recount here:

I’m minding my own business taking a shower when the bell rings.  I hurry to answer the door and find Orlando Bloom on my stoop.  His car has broken down and he wants to use my phone.  I let him in, one thing leads to another (at some point my towel falls off) and Mr. Rizzuto catches us in the act.  Mr. Rizzuto is angry, or not.  He’s leaving that part up to me.

This is an historic occasion, faithful reader!  I give you my first stab at cheap romance.  (Actually, this is more like a screenplay.  It just flows better that way, work with me.) Read More »