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Tag Archives: satire

I have a gringe against Orlando Bloom.  It’s true.  I read it on the internets.

You guys remember the Hong Kong Phooey article I wrote on Blogcritics, don’t you?  When I was writing it I was thinking that no matter how obviously fake and stupid a satire piece is there’s always someone out there who’s gonna believe it.  Still, I was concerned when I had to publish it in the satire category, and downright bummed when they actually put “satire” in the title.

Never again will I underestimate the stupidity of the reading public.  A few hours after I posted the article someone jumped on the thread and chastised me for not getting my facts straight.  Success!

Today I took a mental health day from work (meaning that it’s after 12 and I’m still in my jammies).  I decided to Google “Orlando Bloom Hong Kong Phooey” and you’ll never guess what I found.  You don’t have to guess, I’ll print some of the highlights. Read More »


I’m so terribly, terribly sorry that it had to come to this.

It’s just that I did everthing that I could to get you to notice me and you still don’t know I exist.  Consider this a pathetic, passive-aggressive attempt to get your attention, however negative that attention may be.  Also I’m getting really sick of seeing pictures of you and your girlfriend playing kissy face all over town. 

(Seriously, you should have a talk with your publicist about that.  Does she not understand that your fans want to think they have a chance?)

OK, the truth is that I’m having some kind of weird mid-life crisis and I’m feeling bitchy and I wanted to see if anyone would be dumb enough to believe it.  Sue me.