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Tag Archives: Orlando Bloom’s birthday

Many happy returns to my boyfriend.  I still want to fark you.

Please feel free to leave your birfday wishes for Orly here, I’m sure Miranda will read it and pass the message along.  I’ll start.

Orlando, I hope this year you start to look like this again:



I’m not cut out for the stalking business.

It’s not that I don’t loves me some Orlando, it’s just that I’m not comfortable being completely obsessed with someone I’ve never met.  For that reason I studiously avoid learning bits of trivia about him, such as his middle name or favorite color.  I don’t want anyone to ask me what Orlando’s favorite color is and then I promptly rattle of his life story.  That would be weird and unfunny.

So, I almost forgot his birthday.  Well, I didn’t exactly forget it, I just thought it was on a different day.  Luckily I found out the real date in time to write this post.  Yay me.

The full-time crazies on one of his message boards are planning a big thingy.  I guess someone has the inside scoop on his whereabouts and address and what-not, and they’re going to send him some kind of JPEG tribute.  I could have contributed, but as usual you had to abide by their strict rules and give a DNA sample.  I couldn’t even leave him a heartfelt birthday message like “Visit!”  Nuts to that.

I decided I’d send him my very own present.  Something that’ll keep on giving. Something huge.  I wanted to send him the biggest thing ever.  I decided to send him my ass. Read More »