Many happy returns to my boyfriend. I still want to fark you.
Please feel free to leave your birfday wishes for Orly here, I’m sure Miranda will read it and pass the message along. I’ll start.
Orlando, I hope this year you start to look like this again:
I’m not cut out for the stalking business.
It’s not that I don’t loves me some Orlando, it’s just that I’m not comfortable being completely obsessed with someone I’ve never met. For that reason I studiously avoid learning bits of trivia about him, such as his middle name or favorite color. I don’t want anyone to ask me what Orlando’s favorite color is and then I promptly rattle of his life story. That would be weird and unfunny.
So, I almost forgot his birthday. Well, I didn’t exactly forget it, I just thought it was on a different day. Luckily I found out the real date in time to write this post. Yay me.
The full-time crazies on one of his message boards are planning a big thingy. I guess someone has the inside scoop on his whereabouts and address and what-not, and they’re going to send him some kind of JPEG tribute. I could have contributed, but as usual you had to abide by their strict rules and give a DNA sample. I couldn’t even leave him a heartfelt birthday message like “Visit wandarizzuto.com!” Nuts to that.
I decided I’d send him my very own present. Something that’ll keep on giving. Something huge. I wanted to send him the biggest thing ever. I decided to send him my ass. Read More »