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Tag Archives: Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr

Dear Orlando,

Hi.  Long time no hear.  What’s up with that?

I hear you’ve given up on that movie that you were going to do.  I think it’s for the best, although I’m not sure how I feel about you doing a kung-fu flick.  It’s OK, I know the reason you dropped out is that you didn’t want to be away from me for that long.  You’re so considerate! Read More »

Kidding!  I don’t believe in violence.  I always give peace a chance.

Seriously, I’m OK with Orlando being a big cheater.  He’ll come back to me.  I’ll just have to get a billboard…but more about that later.

I’m OK.  Really.  But I’m worried about some of the other ladies.  Joders seems a little depressed, and I haven’t heard from Cait in a while.  I think Anners has gone off the deep end.

So ladies, feel better!  As a public service, I am offering Deadpan’s comment box for you to vent your frustrations.  Let it all out, it’s OK.  Tell us how you really feel.  We don’t judge you here.  Don’t hold back!

Programming note:  violent fantasies are for entertainment purposes only.  Psycho fangirls will be laughed at and subsequently reported to The Department of Homeland Security.

What a crappy week this has been.

First, my boyfriend cheats on me with a Victoria’s Secret model.  It’s so wrong for so many reasons.  I mean, come on, a model?  Does he have to be such a cliche?  I’m thinking about sending him a copy of this book, except that he has yet to acknowledge my ass shirt that I sent him for his birthday.  Make that an ungrateful cheating flat-leaver.  It’s not like I asked him for much, just approximately 36 minutes (not 3-6 minutes like Anners says).  And I’m just waiting for someone to say that she’s a “curvy model”.  Be prepared for a rant if that comes up. Read More »