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Tag Archives: Miranda Kerr

Too angry to type.  Jaded said is best here.

Fuck you, Whorelando Bloom, and the horse you rode in on.


Many happy returns to my boyfriend.  I still want to fark you.

Please feel free to leave your birfday wishes for Orly here, I’m sure Miranda will read it and pass the message along.  I’ll start.

Orlando, I hope this year you start to look like this again:


I’ve been busy with the holidays the last couple of days, and I don’t normally pay attention to blind items (I can never guess who the crap they’re talking about), but this one caught my attention.  I wonder why?

Which supermodel and brand ambassador can’t convince her showbiz boyfriend to come back to Australia unless he’s paid a celebrity appearance fee?  The front row is a lonely place without the handsome face.

Hmmm…let me think about this for a second.  Supermodel…Tyra?  No, can’t be her.  Why would her boyfriend go “back” to Australia.

Let me think.  Could it be…Gisele?  No, I don’t think so.  She’s a supermodel, but brand ambassador?  I don’t think so.

You know what?  It almost sounds like they’re talking about Miranda Kerr, except that they specifically said “supermodel”.  Help me out here guys, who is it?

You’ve seen her on the runway, on the cover of fashion magazines, and of course on the arm of A-list Hollywood actor Orlando Bloom.  Now, in an internet exclusive, international supermodel Miranda Kerr has graciously accepted our invitation to sit down and have a frank heart to heart with our own Wanda Rizzuto.  Miranda speaks out against her critics who say she’s nothing but a low-down, dirty, famewhoring, opportunistic, conniving, wily no-talent, brainless slut. Read More »


Welcome back.  I’ve relaunched the site, we are now all Orlando, all the time.  Make yourselves at home while I tweak things a bit, OK?

If you’re still jonesing for some random Deadpan humor, you can check me at my old WordPress Deadpan.  You can read about my crappy life and complaints and stuff there.

Please check back tomorrow for my exclusive interview with international supermodel Miranda Kerr!