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*sigh*

It’s a new record folks!  Usually when the pitiful engagement rumors come out it takes at least a day or two before they’re shot down again.  But not today!  Today the denials were on my Google alerts before my eyes made a full 360 in my head.  One the headlines even said that the engagement rumors were confirmed, and when I clicked on it it said they were denied.  What kinda shit is that?

Can someone please, please PLEASE explain to me what the point of this exercise is?  If it’s to get attention, I’d say they failed miserably.  Whoever said there’s no such thing as bad publicity never ran into these two.  Observe some goings on on the internets:

Two Boring Pretty People Are Probably Engaged

And the reactions:

The top half of her face looks pushed in. He’s too much of a pretty boy.

Didn’t he have the same round of engagement rumors when he was dating that scrawny blonde chick?

And Miranda Kerr shouldn’t marry a dude who makes her look like a plain jane. He’s prettier than her, even sans makeup.

LOL I agree. He looks like he is trying not to puke. Though that is better than looking like he wants to commit suicide.

Also, this a bearding contract. Who honestly can’t tell he is into the peen?

which of those 2 have a penis?

Eh. If this were 2001 and Lord of the Rings was still the hotness people might care. But it isn’t and Orlando Bloom just another non-entity star no ones gives two sh-ts about.

Side note Miranda needs to start sleeping with those lotion gloves. In a few years she’s going to be giving Madge a run for her money.

I could go on.  And I will.

Jeebus! I had no idea she was that hideous underneath all the Photoshop… gah

Hollywood has been trying to PR us into thinking he is a star, but it just ain’t working.

I don’t care who he’s fucking because him alone makes me want to yawn.

And this is just double the displeasure in my book.

I can’t muster the energy to care about these two.

Yeah, reading about these 2 makes me want 3 more cups of coffee.

WHY IS THIS 70 POUND GIRL DRESSING LIKE FUCKING BARBARA WALTERS

Um,….well,….*zzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

WHAT DO ALL THEM SKINNY WHORES GET FOR PRETENDIN’ TA BE DATIN’ THESE GAY DUDES?!? THIS CHICK’S CAREER AIN’T NO BETTER FOR BEARDIN’ THIS MIDDLE EARTH ELF QUEEN!!

And a few quotes from some bloggers:

Here we go again. For the umpteenth time a report has surfaced that Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are engaged. Woman’s Day magazine is claiming that Bloom popped the questions in Morocco. Miranda Kerr’s brother Matthew confirmed the news.

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr may be engaged, for like the 100th time. Yes, this story is the Groundhog Day of celebrity gossip.

You get the picture. 

(Speaking of brother Matthew, is this the guy they’re talking about?

They know that Matty’s on his way;
He’s loaded lots of guns and knives on his sleigh.
And every JJ shipper is going to spy,
To see if KayC33 really knows how to cry.

Hmm.)

Anyway.  Enough.  Enough already.  I’m begging you to stop.  This isn’t fun anymore.  If I said I would stop making dingho jokes would you stop?  How about if I gouged my eyes out with a spork?  Would you stop then?  Whorely?  I’ll stop calling you Whorely and insinuating that you’re gay, OK?  You get back to me on that.

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7 Comments

  1. All this eye rolling is making me sleepy.

  2. I guess there is a bright side to this. It got me a mention on your site! 😀

    Too bad it had to be in the same paragraph that Matty’s in, but that isn’t your fault.

    After reading some of those comments, I decided we aren’t so hard on her after all. In fact it also occurred to me that the person who “God” spoke to us through must be an only child. Otherwise my brothers and sisters must really hate me, cause they used to tease and make snide remarks to me all the time. If I hated them for their remarks like the shippers do us I’d be a mess emotionally.

  3. Poor Whorely better do something different or he’s going to be walking down the aisle still denying that he’s engaged.

    But hey, his future inlaws are aces, yeah?

  4. “the groundhog day of celebrity gossip” – well aint that the truth

    I can’t believe they have run this again – after the reaction last time ROFLMAO

  5. Wanda you are a gem for going thru orly’s google hits for us and insane for reading them.

    “two boring pretty people”—who are they talking about, I thought Resse and Jake split up.

  6. Aww my comment is on there. I’m the one said about him looking like he wants to puke.

  7. My favorite: “WHY IS THIS 70 POUND GIRL DRESSING LIKE FUCKING BARBARA WALTERS?”

    Sometimes i luv peopls.


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