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Look what made me come out of retirement. If either of you guys from The Spark Post are out there reading this, we simply must chat.

BTW, and FYI:

trick [trik]


spending your money on a female so she stay with you.


  1. OMG what the f*ck are these two talking about??!I think they just needed a couple as an example and randomly chose them, cause wtf..?

    What a bunch of wankers, most people are probably gonna believe them too and thats just another reason why this whole showmance is making him look like an idiot. Oh well, at least it made you come out of retirement Wanda!

    BTW am I the only one who noticed that Lukas Haas has the same creepy Hammer-shark head as Miranduh does?

  2. zuluzulu: I tried to imagine what their kids would look like and now I don’t dare to go to sleep with their image in my head.

  3. One thing they were right about is that it’s clear she doesn’t respect him.

    “Your bitch is running wild!”-Steve Carell, The 40 Year Old Virgin

  4. Now that I’ve recovered from ROTFLMAO, I’m totally lovin it. I mean what could be more perfect. He’s even paying for her mother and her brother to fly to see her. And she has her own money. That part is top rate irony. See, the craziness is apparent to everyone. Won’t even mention (ha!) that they were explicitly right on about her little adventures with L.Haaassss, a mofo with great game. Ok, I gotta stop and catch my breath. Oh, poor Orlando. Please see the light. Take their advice. Quit tricking and find what’s left of your self respect. We’ll all help.

    Wanda, maybe we should write our own little self-help book – How to take your ball back. Or maybe 10 steps to a dingho-free life. These 2 guys might write the forward for us.

  5. Whoop Whoop – you came out of retirement wanda!!!

    i think this is hilarious, not only have i not heard this “trickin” thang before but actually it makes perfect sense…

    He needs to distract the world from Viggo somehow! its just a shame he picked such a cheap tart to do it with…. KB had much more class… LOL

    I’m still laughing about that etruscan vase wedding gift!

  6. SJ, I’m trying to get ahold of these two fine young gentlemen. Any messages?

  7. Yes, Wanda, ask them who Whorelando should be dating instead. Can they name names? Do they have any suggestion for the dingho’s replacement?

    Please relay my sincere appreciation for their right-on assessment of Orlando’s current disaster of a romantic situation.

    PS: glad you’re back!

  8. “Wanda, maybe we should write our own little self-help book – How to take your ball back. Or maybe 10 steps to a dingho-free life. These 2 guys might write the forward for us.”

    I understand the title “Treasure Yourself” is up for grabs again…might be apropos for the Take Back Your Balls OB book.

  9. Hey everybody I am glad y’all loved our take on Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr. I appreciate all the positive comments.

  10. Mr. King! Thank you so much for visiting my humble blog!

    I’m afraid you’ve been sorely misinformed about dingos. Hasn’t he slags?

  11. Wanda thanks for putting our video up. Siris and I are just trying to get everyone to wake and see some of the stupidity that exists in trickin’. Thanks for your support everyone

  12. Dear Siris King and Hec Martinez,

    Thank you for your video efforts to inform people of Orlando’s relationship problems. He definitely needs help, and your video was the perfect way to alert him of the dangers of tricking. I can only hope he takes your advice and makes some changes. It’s painful to watch him being so unhappy in his love life, and god knows, we’ve tried to get him to see the light.
    Sadie Jo
    PS: Thanks for visiting Wanda’s. She’s like my favorite blog slagger. She’s worked very hard to rehab Whorelando’s relationship, and it hasn’t been easy or pretty (but it’s been pretty funny!).

  13. How the bloody hell did I miss this?

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