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My dearest darling Orlando,

Despite what you may have heard on the internets, specifically at the Wanda Rizzuto Fan Club over on Live Journal, I still love you.  Well, I mean, I still want to do the nasty with you.  However, you have been behaving like a tool lately.  And looking kinda not so hot.  Oh, and the slags in your fandom?  Crazy!  Seriously, have you been to JJ lately?  It’s like one slag talking to herself over 400 posts!

All this is enough to make me seriously consider not being a fangirl anymore.  But who am I kidding?  You and I both know that I can’t stay mad at you for long.  So, after careful consideration, I’ve decided to give you up for Lent.  As you know I’m a nice Catholic girl, and since I must atone for eating Szechuan beef at lunch today, off you go.  No more message boards for me!  Sayonara YouTube trailers!

Don’t worry darling, it won’t hurt for long.  I’ll be back on Easter Sunday.  Don’t go getting rabies while I’m gone now!

(And before the members of my fan club get their panties in a bunch thinking I’m poking fun at Catholics, I’m totally serious.)



  1. I’m thinking about giving up being a fangirl too. At least until I bomb proof my home and install more locks on my front door. Who knew there were terrorists within the fandom!

  2. I’ve gone over to JJ to see what the whole hullabaloo was about. And I ended up curled in a corner, shaking and crying for my mamma. It’s seriously very scary over there.

    However, good luck with giving up Whorley for for Lent. And I love just how much vitriol some of those little girls have for you, Anners, Akeelers, Jaded, etc. It’s really mindboggling how worked up they get.

  3. But Lindsay, did you visit my fan club? It’s over yonder on my blogroll. >>>>

  4. I don’t even want to know what is happening over on JJ or your fanclub Wanda.

    • Anners the Sea Hag
    • Posted February 26, 2009 at 8:41 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    I’m with Mystic.

    Wanda, don’t blaspheme Easter Sunday by going to O-love, For you shall surely barf.

    I’ve been avoiding all Orlando info for over a week now and I’ve never felt better.

  5. Well, I’m afraid I’m going to have to break my fast. A comedic opportunity has arisen.

  6. Wanda, I’m on my way to check it out.

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