My dear readers,
A short while ago I wrote a post about an imaginary conversation between Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr. In that post I strongly implied that Miranda Kerr was secretly trolling the internet and starting fights with Orlando’s fans. I also suggested that Ms. Kerr didn’t have the guts to pick a fight with me.
Within minutes, a poster appeared on Just Jared pretending to be me. She said, among other things, that I have the face of a monkey and that I was too embarassed to post a picture of myself. (You can read the comments on this thread and this one.)
All of this nastiness got me to thinking. Maybe I’ve been too hard on Miranda. What has she done really to make us fangirls haze her so relentlessly? Despite all the dingo jokes I’ve made over the last few months, she really is only human. And maybe, just maybe we’re wrong about her being an internet bully.
In an effort to acheive piece within the fandom and to maintain the highest journalistic standards, I’ve invited a regular Just Jared poster and bona fide “Team KerrBloom” member to guest blog with me today. Please be tolerant of her opposing viewpoint and give her a chance to explain why she feels that Orlando and Miranda have found true love.
I will now turn the floor over to Ms. Maryann Kerrpinsky.
SUK ITT WANDA!!!!
Thank you for your candor, Maryann.
By the way, here are some other things Miranda is too scared to do:
- keep her clothes on
- break up with her boyfriend
- pick up my dry cleaning
- make me a sandwich
- GO AWAY
Deadpan 
15 Comments
brilliant as ever!! 🙂 keep on posting, i hope that she proves you wrong on teh above list too… ah no wait, she’ already done the first….
Maryann Kerrpinsky – “Suk itt Wanda!!!!”
Hahahahaha! This is some phunny shyt, Wanda!
Maryann could do with some advice on hair removal, don’t you think?
BTW, thank you for directing me to the comments on those JJ posts. There goes an hour of my life that I’ll never get back.
PS I guess I’m famous now too. My name got mentioned in one of the comments. The dingHo hatez me.
Tis okay, because I hate her too.
You were mentioned? I didn’t see that, I’ll have to go look.
Ugh, I couldn’t get through all those stoopid comments Joders. Can you paraphrase?
Oooh, me too! I wanna be on Matty’s death list! Where do I register to become part of the uglyphatjellusnolifeh8ers’ club? Do I get a card? Do I get a button? Sign me up, sign me up!
Plus, may I say, Wanders looks fierce.
Miranda, you’re ugleeeee.
That matty is one scary piece of work! I can’t believe he hasn’t gone all Single White Female on his sister yet.
Jaded, you might need to get a gun permit to join that club.
Yeah…after reading that post on Delphi I realize that I might owe the dingho an apology for real. Maybe it was her brother all along calling me out.
Or maybe there’s a Norman Bates thing going on and they’re really the same person.
I wouldn’t doubt the Norman Bates angle. The dingho does look a little lifeless in the eyes.
Wanda I forgot what it said, so I couldn’t paraphrase it. I had to look for it again, so you know what that means don’t you? Yep, another 20 minutes of my life I won’t get back.
Anyway it was in the 2nd thread, the St Barts one and it was comment #51. It was actually from Gunnedah Hobag, but it was still funny. She said she hates Wanduh, Joderzz, Akeelerzz, Annerzz and Kayte Bozwurth (the blondde bytch frum hail). I’m not sure about the spelling, but that’s the beauty of dingoese, anything goes!
PS No you bloodywell do NOT owe the dingHo an apology.
Oh, well, a message from Gunneduh Hobag is indeed an honor.
Trust Wanda. It’s a family affair. The dingo does more then her share of the posting. Trust on that one.
Akeelers, my mind is a lethal weapon already.
Olive branch my ass. Use that stick to whack her a good one. Or better yet, play fetch with the dingo next to a big cliff. F E T C H…….opps, sorry y y y yy yy.