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Well, well, it’s great to be back.  I’ve had quite a few adventures the last couple of weeks, but there’s one in particular I know you’re just dying to hear about.

Guess what I found out?  I found out that all this time I’ve been pining away over Orlando his girlfriend has been living just half a block away from my office.  Can you believe it?  I might have bumped into him a million times and not even known it.

I found out because there’s a big kerfuffle on the message boards over some pictures that were taken outside of the dingo’s house a week or so ago.  It seems that the poor supercouple just can’t be left alone.  The paparazzi have been camping outside the building just waiting for a glimpse.  At least that’s how the fangirls say it happened.  How else would the paps know the exact time they were going to be there?  And don’t tell me their publicists called it in, a big Hollywood star and his supermodel girlfriend would never resort to such pedestrian tactics.  They’ve been stalked!  Stalked, I tell you!  Won’t someone please give these poor people some privacy?

Hey, not me.  Why should the paps be the only ones to get paid?  I have a camera, and as luck would have it I had to stop by the office.  I wonder how much they pay for pics of these two?  If Brad and Angie’s kids got $14 mil, I had to at least get two or three, right?  So long car payment!

So with my camera at the ready I made my way down the block.  I only hoped I wouldn’t get horribly injured by the hoards and throngs of paps that were sure to be lining the sidewalk.  But there was just one problem…

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Nobody was there.

Hmmm….

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Maybe they followed her to the drugstore.

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Nope.  I think I saw some tumbleweed.

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Wait…is that…?  Oh.  Never mind.

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I don’t get it. Was it a national holiday or something? Was the pope in town? Where were all the paps? Anyone?

(OK, OK, I know some of you guys were expecting me to roll a cabbage through the lobby. I got tied up at work, OK? I’m only going in a couple of times a month these days, catch me in a couple of weeks.)

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35 Comments

    • Anners Scribonia Caesar
    • Posted August 27, 2008 at 1:06 am
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    Wanda’s back! I missed you.

    Ha… those things did look dingo-ish.

    Orlando Bloom can get ephed. And not by moi! I totes don’t phancy him anymore.

  1. Yay!! Your’e back! I missed you too.

    Don’t worry Wanda. The dingo is/was supposedly in LA while you were in town. You’ll get your chance. I just know it.

  2. ah me, thats just too funny for words – top work wanda……. but i’m sure there is a rational explanation for why the entire building is empty 6 days after they were being stalked by the paps coming out of “their” apartment

    never mind wanda – i’m sure they will be easy to locate when they are next in the neighborhood, with that army of paps following their every move, they won’t be hard to spot….

  3. No one around as in the building itself was deserted? As in, they set up a supposed apartment building to make it look like they were staying together like slapparr said on Delphi?

    Wow.

    I’m so glad I’m moving onto Christian Bale now.

  4. LOL! What was that paper on “their” door, did you read what it said?

    Any of you seen the tearful sighting on Gawker?

  5. The building was actually deserted? Yikes. That’s beyond pathetic.

    (I’m with Jaded — what did the paper on the door say?)

  6. Wanda, sorry, are you sure it was the same building? Because, if you look at this pic with Orlando coming out:

    the handles at the door are totally different.
    I think you were at the wrong address!!

  7. And look at this one:

    Completely different building!
    How do you explain this?

  8. *pictures Wanda checking door handles, chortles*

    Hi Sissy!

  9. I’m so glad you have seen fit to claw your way back to civilization.

    As for the paps, Orly is a non-celebrity. The paps are too busy following real celebrities. Oh, and why you didn’t bump into the Fey One since he was so close is a mystery to me.

  10. No guys, the building wasn’t deserted. There are actually two entrances to the building, the one in this picture and the one in the picture lollipop linked to.

    And it was the right address, believe it or not the dingo is in the phone book.

  11. Alas, I’m with lollipop — not only are the handles different but the doors seem to be a different scale (larger) in the pap pix. Mind you, I still think you’re right about the stalking!

  12. I dont even care if the location is wrong. This is fucking hilarious! I havent been a fan of this guy in years, but still check this place and the Delphi everyday just to get my daily dose of LOL’s!!!!Keep it up Wanda!!!

  13. IN THE PHONE BOOK? MegaLOLz.

  14. She probably just wanted to have her name printed wherever possible.

  15. Hey Wanda, I believe you have succeeded in your quest. Doesn’t finding her number in the book mean, since they “live” together, you found Orlando’s phone number?! I say Bravo, Bravo, Bravo!!!

  16. ah bugger, i thought the entire building was deserted and have thrown a small party in that honor!!!

    never mind, its still really sad…

    whats the dingho listed under – m for media dingho???

  17. Yea Wanda,
    I lurve your photos adventures. They’re like an insiders guide to stalking Whorely in NYC. So, the snap-happy couple could have used the side door to avoid those pesky paps. You totes need to go interview the paps next time. Screw the happy couple, the real story is sitting with the lensmen. Do you think they get $20, maybe $30 for a photo? Will they dish the dirt?

    Oh, I know, next time you gotta hang with the paps. Use your cell phone and make it a big production. I can just see it….dingo calls the paps and she get one woman with a cell phone holding a cabbage yelling “over here Randa May!”

    Have you seen the interiors of the apartments in this building? The whole pod concept is kinda cool except that the bathrooms look like airport toilets that they don’t just clean they bring in hoses and blast the whole place with water. 1000 sq feet for 1 mil. Nice.
    And her 1 bedroom doesn’t even have full walls. Still, the top 2 floors are really great, and the lounge at the top is totally where I’d spend all my time.

    SJ

  18. Thanks for clarifying, Wanda. The thought that these two would really have done set-ups at a deserted building (which would mean hiring someone to play the doorman, etc.) was just too much. I completely believe you about the lack of photographers. There’s no way they’d be hanging around unless they were called for a specific time.

  19. Sadie Jo, how do you know what the apartment looks like? Have you been holding out on me?

    Hi Cheers. You’ve discovered my dilemma, once I find his number I’ll have nothing else to blog about, unless you guys want to hear about my boring life 24-7. I don’t think they live together though, so I’m still on my quest. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

    Of course, I could always call the number, couldn’t I? Mr. Rizzuto said he’d do it, but he punked out.

  20. OMG! The fawking doorhandles don’t match, Wanda! I totes believe that those photogs would risk life and limb to be paid in Now and Laters and Pall Malls for their photos, ok? And they damn near trampled John Mayer when he came to visit them, too. Bastards! How dare you insinuate these two would call in their own press! Blaspheme!

  21. Hey Lollipop, sorry, one of your comments went into the spam pile. You’re good now.

  22. Yes, Wanda, some of us knew some things about some one.

    Still, I was amazed she was ok with being snapped with her addy showing. Doormen or not, security or not, sometimes I don’t think she engages her brain.

  23. SadieJo, let me find out you coulda hooked me up with my 36 minutes all along!

  24. OMG, Wanda, were standing right at the front door when you took that last picture???? Like, you’re standing RIGHT where The Whorelando was posing (I mean innocently standing).

  25. Impressed?

    (Don’t think I didn’t notice the subject change missy! :P)

  26. Hell yes! I’m totally impressed.

    http://www.jadenyc.com/

    What color pod would a dingo have?

  27. Brown?

    Yeah, OK. That’s the other entrance I was talking about. I thought it was a boutique. That shows how much I pay attention to my surroundings, eh?

    And I totally got Jade Jagger confused with Bianca Jagger. I was wondering why she went from being a human rights advocate to cavorting with dingos. I’m such a dork.

  28. Wanders, the Dingho has some new pics of her in front of her building posted on JJ. I think she’s taunting you for not throwing the cabbage at her. And Momma Kerr’s in on it, too. What say you?

  29. And Whorely is back biking in NY too, stalk him Wanders, stalk him real hard! 😉

    For the whole 36 minutes!

    Pix please! 😀

  30. Sorry guys, I’ve done all my stalking for this week. Besides, I can’t very well just go and stand there in front of the building, can I?

    Why can’t some of you enterprising fangirls find out when he’s going to be there and give a sister some advance notice?

  31. Sorry, a delphi girl (Ducati) has found him already… there’s always the next papfest!

  32. Noooo – don’t go this week, Wanda. Trust me, the thrill is in the hunt. If you find him this easily now, you’ll have nothing to look forward to ever again. Like your whole life will have peaked too early. The flame of eternal lust will be extinguished. For the love of God, woman, DON’T GO to the city. Wait til he gets his hottness back. Besides, he’s got all the women he can handle right now, what with both the dingo and the dingomom crammed into that little apt. with no bedroom door. Oh ick, I’m grossing myself out again. Bye.

  33. Hahahahahahahah! Fantastic and too brilliant

  34. whatever happened to the sisterhood – it seems we need it now more than ever…. I think Whorli needs some serious exorcism before anyone can demonstrate a flame of eternal lust ever again

    Wanda, are you able to shoot Dingo’s in new york, THAT could be a good expenditure of your time (without risking peaking early), but i’m not sure whether its illegal or not?


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