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Be gentle with her folks:

http://www.vogue.com.au/fashion/articles/news/ask_miranda_kerr

The bad news is that some of the delphi slags have already left questions and they’ve been removed. 

I have an idea.  If your comments get removed you can post them here.  Maybe Miranda herself will grace us with her presence!  Imagine the possibilities….

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77 Comments

  1. miranda, how do you feel about slightly balding science teachers from brooklyn?

  2. Very funny.

  3. Miranda, how do you feel about having the brain similar to a cup of fat-free Jell-O pudding?

    Oh wait. Pudding can’t think that deeply.

  4. Miranda: How do you keep your boobs from falling out of that outfit? I know when I wear that exact same dress, my boobs AND my stomach falls out. Do you use surgical tape or scotch tape? Or maybe sticky tack?

  5. Miranda, how do you feel about people who think you’re a moron?

  6. Excellent ladies, excellent. Keep em coming!

  7. Miranda, how would you like it if I punched you in your cabbage patch kid face really hard with a roll of quarters in my hand?

  8. Hi Mirandingo! How many of these men did you bang?

    http://www.thefashionspot.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4155637&postcount=4138

    * Sorry.

  9. Miranda is it hard to walk straight when you’re that full of shit?

  10. Hi Jayne!

    Anners, I dare you to put one (or both) of those comments on the forum. I triple dog dare you.

  11. I posted the second one. I’ve been informed that it is currently being moderated. In other words, it’ll never see the light of day.

  12. Hi,

    I just voted for your excellent blog for Bloggers Choice Awards.

    Could you return the favor at:

    http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21620

    Thanks,

    SpEdLaw2

  13. good call wanda!

    “mirandingo, at what age did you make the decision to be a fame seeking slag and did you parents support you in this decision from the start”

    or

    “you know Pinocchio right? Does YOUR nose grow when you tell the truth? its the only reason i can think of for why you’re so full of shit”

  14. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!um, i mean LEAVE MIRANDA ALONE!!!!

  15. Anners you just need to word it nicely and ask her which one of the men was her favorite that night.
    LOL at the “how do you get your flawless skin” question. It’s called airbrush and photoshop.
    The girl has skin almost as greasy as the greasy bear himself.

  16. How do you keep a straight face when you try to pull off your sweeter-than-sweet image??

  17. Can you stand to listen to your own voice?

  18. Do you realize that you have an uncanny resemblance to a ferret?

  19. That’s not really fair to ferrets.

  20. “what does it feel like to be trapped inside a brain like yours??”

    ah no sorry – she doesn’t have a brain…

  21. my guess is it would be lonely, kinda like solitary confinement. Nothing to read or do, just posing.

    • Daners Isadora a.k.a. Busty St. Clair
    • Posted July 23, 2008 at 12:30 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    Mr. Rizzuto is killing me here.

  22. Miranda, Do people hold up signs so you know when to stop at the end of the catwalk runway or do you just guess? (i.e., Stop, Miranda, you’ve gone too far!!!)

  23. Miranda, When Orlando found you at a toy store in the Cabbage Patch section, did he have to pay full price or did he get you at a discount for being used, run ragged, and dirty?

    (Am I being too mean, no, at least I’m not punching her with a roll of quarters!)

  24. Hi Miranda, how much is Valtrex at your pharmacy? Do you use coupons? Buy one get one?

  25. Miranda, I was wondering if animal control/immigration has ever tried to quarantine you while travelling?

  26. You ladies are bad to the bone.

    Well, they didn’t take my comment. I don’t know why, I didn’t insult her or anything. All I did was ask about her magnet. What’s wrong with that? She’s the one that went around saying that she carried a magnet with her everywhere.

  27. #23 was the hotness! These are all awesome questions, though.

    The comments that actually made it through are pretty hilarious too (as Jane pointed out):

    “What advice would you give young girls who want to follow in your footsteps?”

    LAME!

  28. ^ haha! Her magknit.

  29. Here’s my last question for Ask Miranda Kerr. If it’s not accepted then I’m giving up: (pick me, pick me, PLEASE)

    Congrats Miranda!! I read somewhere you are penning and publishing a self-help book “Pleasure Yourself.” Was wondering which you prefer – manual, electric or hydro? Thanks for tackling such a sensitive subject!

    Sadie J.

  30. Miranda, do you still keep in touch with the rest of the cabbage kids from the ’80’s kind of like the original Mouseketeers?

  31. Miranda, do you have any good recipes for cabbage?

  32. Miranda, Can you get a message to Orlando and tell him to ditch the dungHo. Err, wait. Thats you.Nevermind.

  33. Miranda, do you have pretend friends that you have for dinner with your pretend boyfriend? I once had an imaginary friend too but I was four. It’s okay, some people just take longer to grow out of it I reckon.

  34. No one here has addressed the question of what she’s done with Orly’s fish dinner.

  35. I thought she just did what any fameho would do. She held her breath and went down. She just let her mind wander to seeing her name in the paper as the girlfriend of a MovieStar and it was a problem no more.
    Is that what you were getting at?

  36. I want to ask her if she eats all his cock cheese every morning and night.

    And does she like his black balls or are they too scruffy looking and wants them paler?

    Black bullets?

  37. Miranda darling:

    Did he ask you to keep your boots on like he did Maddy Ford, and you went to bed in waders?

    He is kinky right?

  38. Did you forget who you’re talking about?
    It’s Black Pearls dear, Black Pearls.

  39. Hey Poonam, this is a family blog! Sheesh.

    Who’s Maddy Ford?

  40. SadieJo, have I told you lately that I love you?

  41. oops sorry wanda.

    Maddy Ford was a model who was in “the calcium Kid” she had a one night stand with Orlando and during sex he told her to keep her knee high boots on.

  42. Maddy Ford- a British glamour model (ie underwear, swimwear, lads mags etc) apparently slept with Orlando in 2002 and kept her boots on in bed with Orlando because she was too pissed to take them off. She was a scuzzy girl too lol

  43. If I recall I think he didn’t ask her to keep them on but just said “suits me” when she asked if he minded since she couldn’t get them off quickly enough.

    You can see current pictures of Matty Ford with a google search. She has her own site now.

  44. I — meant actual fish. . . *sigh* I guess you had to be there.

  45. @ickypoo

    Yeah she is now a fashion stylist and is doing very well with it in the UK I hear.

    A lot of people didnt believe what she said about her sleeping with him- but I did, she said Orlando was crap in bed- but it was a one night stand so what she expect? lol

  46. Also wanted to add she also had VERY long legs and she said he was enamoured of them- so I take it he likes em very long.

  47. These questions are hilarious! I wish people really would (or could…) ask her these questions. My gosh, the ones that are already posted on the Vogue site are just airy-fairy nonsense. She’s answered most of them in interviews as it is.

  48. It seems Mr. Bloom has a thing for “fashion models who drift towards the lingerie look”. Perhaps in order to get his attention it takes knee highs and a riding crop???
    Hey Miranda, is that why you always wear those UGLY ankle boots?

  49. It’s cool Poonam, I’ll just try to scrub that image from my brain.

    (Sissy, I advise you to put your head down and keep it moving!)

  50. @lagerboat
    I think he just likes easy lays in general. He isn’t that picky. Matty Ford had huge boobs too so I don’t think he has a type really.
    Then there was the other kiss and tell who was a bit heavy wasn’t she?
    Charmaine I think he name was.

  51. @icky

    I agree but they are all of a type of “sluttish” lol Charmaine- I cant remember EXACTLY but I dont think she was heavy per se, just curvy as she was latino kind I think or caribbean.

    I think he definately likes easy lays- and these are the “dangerous women” he is refering to IMO lol

  52. How do you guys know all this stuff anyway? I guess I’m a lousy fangirl.

    I’m going to bed. Stay as long as you like, just turn the lights off and lock the door when you leave, K?

  53. Wanda we will try and keep the noise down. Sleep well.
    Maybe by the time you wake up one of the more efficient fangirls will have found you the scans from both these kiss and tells for your morning coffee.

  54. Most men I know love the same type: the ones without Y chromosomes. Seriously, 70% I know would shag anything vaguely feminine, some don’t even require her to be the same species… if there was a male version of Kate/Blogsworth, there would be no shag-or-gag label, because all the answers would be shag.

    Questions to CPK?
    What was the last time OB touched you without plastic gloves?

    How many Google alerts do you have set on your name?

    Do you have nood pix of OB on your Blackberry? Can you share?

    Which of the gossip blogs/commenters do you hate most?

    How many hours a year do you spend without your mom?

  55. lagerboat, or maybe it’s only the “sluttish” that will share the story.

  56. 71%, jaded

  57. RE: #41

    Gee thanks, Wanda! Wuv u 2 and thanks for the Van Morrison moment….have I told you lately…..

    Sadie Jo

  58. Late to the party. My question is tame:

    Miranda, will having been Orlando’s beard really help your career?

  59. * That was a good, thoughtful question, Stevo.

    Wanda! I think Mama Kerr and lil bro Kerr are at it again… and I think they’re reading our blogs… my stats are ephing weird… Crikey!

  60. BTW, That Maddy Ford bytch is all sorts of phugly! Are these the boots she was wearing when she was shagging my man?

    http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/1432848.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1939057D9939C83F1061A324A674C0290B85A5397277B4DC33E

  61. What do you mean about your stats?

    My computer declined to go to that website you linked. That’s never happened before.

  62. Randamay, how does it feel to have Xavier Roberts name stamped on your bum? You should design jeans with his name on the pockets. Then you’ll be “set for life”!

  63. lol. Thanks for making us work for that one glamma puss. I had to look that up.

  64. Didn’t you know? She’s a fashion icon too. The ass stamp is going to be all the rage this fall!

  65. To be 67th in line is something! Good God, Wanda!

    I’m surprised Miranda hasn’t been here. She’s got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do.

  66. The dingo sound re-re and daft but u guys don’t have to make fun of her sexuality. A women isn’t ‘used’ or ‘dirty’ just because she’s slept with more men than you.

    I don’t even think Orlando is gay anymore because since finding Blogsworth I’ve heard so many skanky stories about him that I doubt his PR people made us as you wouldn’t want people believing that kinda stuff.

  67. Janers, get the hell out of here, plz.

    Hee.

  68. whatever – don’t go complaining next time someone calls u a whore and makes u feel ashamed.

  69. Wanda it looks like we’ve exhausted all the good questions for cabbagegirl. How about the next blog entry an Ask Orli section. I can think of a few things he needs to answer for.

  70. You might be on to something there ickypoo.

  71. To Janers at #68 & 70: Is that really you? Nah, I think you must be impersonating our beloved Janers because the real Janers once said, “Word on the street thus far is that Orly is moving into a new apartment and the new landlord doesn’t allow pets. Rather than face an uncertain future in a no-kill shelter the dingo was seen humping the leg of one Brandon Davis…” Hmmmm, comparing Miranda to a humping dog. That’s the Janers we all know and love!

  72. Poor Orlando, that wasn’t Janers, that was me. Janers isn’t an Orly fan, but we love her anyway.

  73. To Wanda: Oh, my mistake. Thanks for clearing that up. I just feel bad that Janers got upset by what I said. I almost couldn’t believe it. Yes, I too love Janers and her site. It’s terrific and I’ll watch my p’s and q’s from now on while here.

  74. Miranda, when will you move on to the next guy and leave Orlando Bloom?

  75. I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack


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