I watched your interview yesterday. Bummer that your dad won’t let you do any more. I was very impressed with you. You’re smart and very pretty.
I was so impressed with you that I want to make you an offer. My son, Dante:
He also had his 10th birthday this week, you guys were practically made for each other! It would be a great relief to me to know that he had someone that wasn’t a total hobag. Mothers worry about these things you know. Let me tell you a little about him.
- He’s a very sensitive boy. Girls like sensitive boys, I know because I was a girl once.
- Mad acting skills. He can cry on cue.
- Great sense of humor and he’s pretty handsome if I do say so.
- You can probably get him to do whatever you say.
- Can sing “Kyle’s Mom Is A Big Fat Bitch” in pig latin. (He’s not allowed to curse.)
- Recently passed 4th grade.
- Obsessive fascination with Pokemon.
- Gets beat up by baby sister a lot.
- Lost a few brain cells to Nintendo and Cartoon Network.
- Will need braces in a year or two.
- Sorta already has a girlfriend.
So, what do you think? E-mail me and I’ll let you see a picture of his face. And I’ll tell you his real name.