Some of you have been wondering what I’ve been up to of late. Some of you already know, but I’ll recap. Because I’m a narcissist, of course.
First, I met one of my conjoined triplets last week. If you haven’t met Jacks yet, please do check her out as she is quite awesome and one of the funniest people alive. Jackie came to NYC last Friday, but she didn’t tell me she was coming until the Wednesday before. This gave me approximately 36 hours to lose 15 pounds and get my hair did. In the end I decided to go for the muumuu and ponytail. A fabulous time was had by all.
In other news, I quit my job. Yes, the rumors are true. I’m moving upstate, goodbye good old NYC. I hate to leave, but it’ll be nice not to have to spend my entire paycheck on child care and Metrocards. Also I’ll be living a couple of towns away from my other excellent friend Shadodottir, so I’ll have all the folk music I could want and free babysitting. Just kidding about the babysitting. (You should probably check her out though if you haven’t already).
Yes, I did say I was going to save money on child care, because I’m going to be (drumroll, please) a stay-at-home mom. Yay for me! Everyone keeps telling me that I’ll get bored because I’m a dynamic doer and Type A and all that crap, but nuts to that. I’m gonna sit on my ass and watch Jerry Springer til the cows come home. Maybe my kids won’t be deliquents if I’m home with them, eh? Hope springs eternal.
The hardest part was telling my peeps at work. As you may or may not know I’m the manager of my department and I’m the bestest boss ever. My philosophy is to let them do whatever they want and come and go as they please. That way when they don’t do their work and I get “disappointed” they feel very, very guilty. It works, trust. I’m almost never disappointed.
Anyhoo, I told them and immediately three of them started bawling. (Aside to Daners, I had to ban LG from my office that day because every time she looked at me she burst into tears). OK, I’m not so narcissistic as to think it’s all because of me. They’re also scared to death because who the hell knows who they’re going to get to replace me. Hell, I’d cry too. The guy I replaced almost had the lot of them in handcuffs by the time he was done.
I’ll bet you my last paycheck that even though I gave them six weeks notice they won’t have a replacement for me by the time I leave.
That is all. Questions?