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The Documentary Evidence

By now you’ve already read the theories that I’ve summarized in Part I.  Now let’s look at the facts.  A picture is, after all, worth a thousand words, is it not?

Here’s a picture that was posted on Miranda’s official MySpace page.  Interestingly enough, the pictures have since been removed.  Why?  Who got to you Miranda?  What are you afraid of?

Observe the photo below and ask yourselves this:  Does that smile on Orly’s face look sincere to you?  I think not.  Clearly someone is holding a gun to his head.  Not even an actor of his caliber could be convincing under such circumstances.  Why else would he be giving the camera that finger?  It’s a cry for help, folks.  And just what is the deal with that dog?  There are obviously sinister forces at work here.

Dingos2

Next, the Australia hotel photos.  If theses are just two kids in love, then why do they have TWO SEPARATE HOTEL BILLS?  Answer me that, skeptics!

Hotel bill2

Here’s an interesting one.  I admit that I was crushed when I first saw it, after all, what could be worse than seeing him come out of her apartment first thing in the morning?  But then someone suggested that I look at it again.  Let’s all have a second look, shall we?

boo hoo1

He shagged her good! Or did he? What’s wrong Miranda? Why the long face? Hmmm….

Finally, the most mind-blowing evidence of all. Not since the Zapruder film have we seen the likes of this. Here, friends, is the infamous Ducati film, a.k.a. The Bigfoot Video.  (Sorry, I can’t embed it.  Work with me.)  While you’re watching, ask yourselves this:  Exactly what is Orly doing with a parasol?  We’ll examine that, and other issues in the next post.

The truth is out there.

(BTW, you really should have a look at the video.  Pure comedy! Oh, and here’s another picture for you.)

Cabbage1

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26 Comments

    • Bunny Dixonjugs Is Daners' Bond Girl Name
    • Posted June 2, 2008 at 8:25 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    Ha!!! The cabbage!

    Mirandingo looks like Kiki Dunst in that early morning pic. And that’s being mean to Kiki Dunst.

    “Not even an actor of his caliber could be convincing under such circumstances.”

    I’m sorry, I laughed real loud at that.

    And cannot wait for part three

  1. Wanda, that’s not an Australian hotel. That’s Palm Springs! And thanks a lot for making me have to point that out because now I look like a stalker!!

    You couldn’t have got a pic of a wilted cabbage?!

    And why is that re-re bytch wearing truncated hooker books in the a.m.?! I think he just makes her crawl around naked and howling like a dingo whilst he pleasures himself (dreaming about us of course i.e., you, me, Joders, Cait, Vy, Jaded, and Aliers). That’s as sessy as it gets with those two. Trust!

  2. Wanda, this is sheer brilliance. Thank you for posting Part II so rapidly!

    And I appreciate the mention, Anners (I will not get that image out of my head for a while)! To return the favor, here is a picture of a rotten cabbage for you:

    I couldn’t find an image of a wilted one, but I figure rotten will suffice, yes?

  3. Whorely and the dingho must be in England! How else can you explain about the blue dress? Amy Winehouse obviously stopped by Whorely’s and borrowed Randa’s blue print strapless dress to wear to her comeback concert this last weekend. It’s the dress that our cabbage patch supermodel wore to schill those push-up bras last month.

    Can’t wait to see Who Wore It Best on E-Online. Predictions, anyone?

    Great installment Wanda!

  4. Hey wanda! As if I needed yet ANOTHER diversion in my free time! LOL! I too am going to have to follow and anticipate the coming of part III.

    I love this place!

  5. Palm Springs, eh? Whatever. Separate rooms, I think I’ve made my point.

    Thanks FroFro (and everyone). I hope I can live up to your expectations.

  6. Hey! You guys didn’t say anything about the Bigfoot Video!

  7. Thank you for part II Wanda. Bigger and better than part I!! And thank you for the photo of the cabbage. It bears a striking resemblence to ol’ cabbage head don’t you think?

    Don’t worry Anners, if you hadn’t pointed out the fact that the hotel was in Palm Springs I would have. Hell if there’s anyone who’s a stalker it’s me. I knew what type / coloured car he drives.

    As for that video, Orly needed the parasol to protect his English rose skin from being sunburned in the harsh CA sun. And the cabbage was hilarious! She stalked right through the shot and then had to come back again incase no one saw her the first time. Or maybe she got lost like in a giant maze? “The door is around here somewhere right? Oh, there’s a camera, I’ll just model strut straight past. Shit, this door looks familiar. Oh look, it’s a camera….”

    I’m all a-tingle waiting for part III!

  8. Yay Anners – Thanks for mentioning me in Orli’s fantasy 🙂

    I knew it was Palm Springs too. hahaha.

    Wanda this is brilliant! I love it. I am going to watch the Ducati vid – I’ve never seen the whole thing.

  9. Hee hee. For some reason I thought it would be longer. (“that’s what she said”)
    Was that Orli who said “fuck”? I guess it was the paps as there was no mic back there for Orals.
    Miranda is such a tool. Why did she leave and then come back in again? Re-re.
    Also, did they leave in separate cars?
    I wish Orlando had a pink parasol!

  10. #10
    yes, they left in different cars.
    They also weren’t in the store at the same time. Did you notice different people in the foreground when he was there then when she was? They were not in the store at the same time.

  11. Okay so I watched the video and they could be there at the same time. Here’s my synopsis, Orlando enters sees camera and leaves to car. Miranda enters and is on the look-out to see if who is filming is still there, confirming they are, struts for them, then returns to the car. Staff asks camera man to leave, Orlando returns in to store, then asks staff to umbrella him out as the camera man is now outside filming his car.
    As for the hotel bills, no clue but one has to consider the gas station kiss. That is all Orlando, so let us give the girl some credit, showmance or not, she got a lip smacker and that cannot be forgotten.

    Think your site is hilarious Wanda, many thanks for the giggles!

  12. Thanks Tallulah, tell your friends!

    You make in interesting point. She did kiss him for reals, didn’t she? Too bad we didn’t see the pics of him gargling with iodine later.

  13. yeah whay about the face sucking at the gas station…. I’d love to find a reason for that one, but he looks pretty darn happy in those pictures.

  14. The gas face sucking- could u actually see the snog? or was it backs of head shot? I never saw it :/

  15. #12
    They still didn’t leave together. There are two camera men outside so they had a perfect chance to get them both in the car.
    Don’t forget not only the staff changes positions but the other customers in the store have moved.
    So why would Orlando hide like sissy and make his gf go in the store and check it out for him?

    The kiss: It’s showmance, Putting on a show. They knew the camera was there.
    I don’t think most doubt they never had sex(dec 06 anyone?) it’s just a matter of when you think the showmance started

  16. Okay that video was lame ass. Why the hell did she go around twice with her tiny cabbage head? And why is he so lame? I think I’m over Whorelando for shizzles.

  17. Anners, you say that like once a week. Then you say he has a 2″ oui oui (I almost typed 2′, heh!). Next I’ll say that I’m done with him too and then you’ll say thank goodness that he’s all yours again. Why do we keep going through this?

  18. Hee Hee! 2′ oui oui! Priapus much?

    Wanda, we keep going through this because Orlando is wank bastard.

  19. 2″ oui oui. Non non. Not according to the bulge report. (NOT FOR CHILDREN)

    http://www.bulgereport.com/malecelebreportpreview.htm.

    Scroll down til you’ll see Whorely’s pic.

    Boyphriend is packing.

    Wanda, please delete if it’s too squicky ‘kay?

  20. You have to be a member to look at that site SadieJo, no pun intended. I don’t think I’ll be signing up as I have no desire to see Ricky Nelson’s oui oui.

    I don’t know if I’m believing 9″ though.

  21. The Ducati strut reminds me of the time when Paris Hilton accepted some kinda award and got lost on stage, forgetting where to exit. It was the funniest brainless sh*t!

    BTW there is a video for OB leaving MK’s home too! It’s on TMZ, worth watching, not that she gets no hug or good-bye kiss, he never even looks at her!

  22. Thanks Jaded, I’ll have a look.

  23. Nah, you don’t have to be a member to read the blurb about Orli. That tease is free.

    Not sure about the validity, might be some perv fan making overly optimistic claims. Somebody cared enough to send it in and it did make me snicker when I followed the link the first time.

  24. OK, I gotta say this about the first picture: when you’re standing next to Orlando Bloom and you’re kissing the DOG, what’s wrong with you?!

  25. An address to this blog page was at Christian Dillstrom’s list of recommended internet sites – you must be doing an awesome job as mobile + social media marketing top dog is pointing towards you!


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