I was on my way to work the other day and I was thinking that I hadn’t posted about Orlando in a while. Yes, he’s still ignoring me despite my best efforts. There’s also nothing going on with him these days, not a sighting, no gossip, nothing.
That’s what I was thinking, right before all hell broke loose. You see, Orlando was seen kanoodling (is that a word?) with some nobody celebretard, NOT MIRANDA! O, treachery! The message boards suddenly came alive again, and oh what a time we had!
Well, not me. I almost never comment on message boards, but I am an enthusiastic reader. All the fangirls have been convinced for months that the Orlando/Miranda thing is a total fake and they’re taking this as proof positive that the sham is finally over. The beginning of the end, that’s what it is. I love the message boards.
I have a question though. So let’s say their relationship is a total fake. It’s not unheard of in Hollywood. Supposedly she’s just dating him to give her career a shot in the arm. Lo and behold, as soon as they were tagged as an item she got some big modeling contract or other.
So she gets a career boost, but what’s in it for him? Let’s face it, and I hate to be the one to point this out, Orlando hasn’t worked lately. OK, he did that I Heart New York thing or whatever that was called, and that was fun for the week or so that it lasted, but other than that? Nada. And all this foolishness has really pissed off his fans. So does he get a fee for being The Boyfriend? Does he have gambling debts that he needs the money like that? That’s what I don’t get. Feel free to share your insights.
In other message board news, I was really, really bored earlier in the week and decided to impersonate Miranda on one of them. It was a spur of the moment thing, but since I have a short attention span I never did carry the joke all the way through. However, someone did call me a “sock puppet.” As in, “oh great, now we have a Miranda Kerr sock puppet.” I’m pretty sure that was supposed to be an insult (they also called me a chipmunk and, of course, cabbage) but I wasn’t offended. As a matter of fact, I thought the sock puppet analogy was quite clever. Color me impressed.
If I wasn’t so lazy and didn’t have such a short attention span, I’d totally be doing sock puppet theater and putting it on YouTube. OK, you wanna know the truth? I got as far as Modell’s to buy socks and ping pong balls before I stopped myself. I’m not sure if I can pull it off anyway since I’ll need a lot of extra hands, and since I can’t use Dante to help because any Orlando sock puppetry is almost sure include a certain amount of gay porn. I’m such a bitch, but I just gotta be me. I’ll let you know if I change my mind.
Have a great holiday folks. Here’s some message board fun if you need a few yucks.