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Psst, Vito.  Dude.  You pro-family Republicans never will learn, will you?

If you’re going to be pro-family, don’t have an affair.

If you’re going to have an affair, don’t get the bimbo pregnant.  (I know we Catholics aren’t supposed to use birth control, but now isn’t the time to nitpick.)

If you’re going to get the bimbo pregnant, be sure to keep your nose clean.  Don’t go bar hopping and then try to drive home.  Call a cab.

If you get arrested for DUI, don’t have the bimbo bail you out.

You see Vito, once you get the DUI it’s only a matter of time before all the other shit starts to unravel.  Once the shit starts to unravel people will be a lot less forgiving since you were pro-family to begin with, because now you just look like another hypocrite.

I hope we never have to revisit this unpleasantness.  See you on the ferry.

Your soon-to-be erstwhile constituent,




  1. Oh, for cryin’ out loud — these guys simply cannot learn by example, can they?

  2. Oh boy! Another one that can’t keep his fly zipped.

  3. Dude, at least he wasn’t caught sniffing the chair of one of his parliamentary colleagues which is what happened to an Australian politician in Western Australia a few days ago.

  4. the chair sniffing is beyond weird. People that cheat on their partners are wankers. If uur not happy anymore, get out of the relationship b4 u bone someone else.

    It’s always the conservatives that are the most messed up.

  5. Scary thing: when I came to visit your blog, there’s an ad for McCain running on the right-hand side of the screen.

  6. This makes me feel a little better about the 2 state politicians down here who are awaiting trials for DUI and coke possession with intent to distribute (that one will probably get charges dropped, as daddykins is frickin’ LOADED).

  7. Hey Shado D, check out my tagline up yonder.

    Chair sniffing? I don’t wanna know.

  8. That tagline isn’t big enough, Wanda — the ad’s HUGE. The good news is, with AdBlock and NoScript I don’t see it at all — yes!

    How the hell do they get away with pasting such an ad on a personal blog?!

  9. Those crazy Republicans. Without them, who would we laugh at? They’re hypocrisy is better than stand up comedy.

  10. *beating head on keyboard*

  11. I noticed the McCain ad…

    If I was an Onion headline writer I’d put this up: “Republicans Now Just Fucking Anything That Moves.”

  12. Also re: ads on your page: One of them says “I was scammed 27 times.” Which is another way of saying, “I was an idiot 26 times.”

  13. Ha!

  14. Don’t hurt yourself there Shawn!

  15. Oh, and when you’re pulled over, do not tell the cops you’re on your way to your mistress’ house. Where your love child awaits.

    And Wanda, I cannot visit as long as that banner is up. Severe nausea. Srsly. You’re killing me.

  16. I wear a thong and that banner still makes my butt uncomfortable. Mebbe it’s because the undies are half crept up, instead of full-on in or out.

    Anyhoo, cut it out.

    /obsessing about that butt

  17. Why is Jackie hatin on my butt?

  18. It’s the half-up-the-butt undies, man.

    And srsly, you put a pic of your ass online???

  19. When I put a pic of my face online then you can worry.

    If you really loved me and had been reading all of my posts you’d understand the story behind my ass.

  20. I will say this: it looks like you can bounce a quarter off of it.

    Stop posting so fast, and mebbe I could read it all. Jebus.

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