You know folks, I’ve been thinking about all this Miranda and Orlando stuff. Maybe we’ve all been too hard on her. I can totally see why Orlando would dig her, don’t you? I mean, not only is she the superest supermodel ever, she’s also a scholar and an authoress.
And how many of you can say you graduated from such a stellar institution as John Fielder’s Academy of Natural Living? I know I can’t. All I did was go to law school. Everyone hates lawyers, but who doesn’t love an underwear model, right?
So I can understand why Orlando would want that. If I were a guy I’d totally be hitting that four times a day and….
GAAAAAHHHHHHH! I can’t do this.
Orlando, I don’t care if that was you that stopped by yesterday. I just can’t do this. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to fark you and everything, but I’ve had it with your dingo girlfriend. It’s bad enough that they’re writing news articles about her every gd day, now I come home and find Mr. Rizzuto Googling her. I am so getting a divorce. I’ve had it.
There’s a Motley Crue video on VH1 classic. Maybe I’ll go back to Nikki Sixx. I think he kicked heroin again. Yeah, I think I’ll see what Nikki’s up to.