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You know folks, I’ve been thinking about all this Miranda and Orlando stuff. Maybe we’ve all been too hard on her. I can totally see why Orlando would dig her, don’t you? I mean, not only is she the superest supermodel ever, she’s also a scholar and an authoress

And how many of you can say you graduated from such a stellar institution as John Fielder’s Academy of Natural Living?  I know I can’t.  All I did was go to law school.  Everyone hates lawyers, but who doesn’t love an underwear model, right?

So I can understand why Orlando would want that.  If I were a guy I’d totally be hitting that four times a day and….

GAAAAAHHHHHHH!  I can’t do this.

Orlando, I don’t care if that was you that stopped by yesterday.  I just can’t do this.  Don’t get me wrong, I still want to fark you and everything, but I’ve had it with your dingo girlfriend.  It’s bad enough that they’re writing news articles about her every gd day, now I come home and find Mr. Rizzuto Googling her.  I am so getting a divorce.  I’ve had it.

There’s a Motley Crue video on VH1 classic.  Maybe I’ll go back to Nikki Sixx.  I think he kicked heroin again.  Yeah, I think I’ll see what Nikki’s up to.

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12 Comments

  1. I just looked at my Google toolbar. “Miranda Kerr sexy” is in the search box. Mr. Rizzuto is so dead.

  2. I think Nikki’s up to about 350 lbs. Rock on!

  3. Heck, anyone can write a book — the hard part is getting it published and sold.

    I think the competition among famous men is who can claim the hottest partner, just for purposes of headlines. You might be a two-bit actor known only for being the ever-present Night Watchman who gets killed in the first 10 minutes of violence, but your name will be a household word if you manage to exchange smiles with the Hot Model of The Minute.

    NOthing behind the headlines, I’m sure, Wanda — Orly probably pines for you.

    • Anners Scribonia Loathes Mirandingo Kerr
    • Posted May 3, 2008 at 7:48 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    Googling Cabbage Dingo Kerr?! Throw salt in dear Wanda’s wounds, why don’t you, Mr. Rizzuto!

    She looks like humpty dumpty in underwear by the way. Total egg face.

  4. Wait, if she’s like Humpty Dumpty all we need to do is shove her off that bloody wall. All the kings horses and all the kings men won’t be able to put her back together again. Why the hell didn’t we think of this before?

  5. Mr. R has been googling her? Holy moley, Rocky. I hope he spent some quality time in the dog house.

  6. What the hell was that fuckery you directed me to? u were kidding about that mess right? That isn’t actually what she means when she talks about studying ‘pyschology and nutrition’ does she?

  7. No, I wasn’t kidding. Vy did some research and found out that’s where she got edumakated.

  8. Oh good grief. She mentions that she ‘studied’ nutrition and pyschology in every interview she does. Studying means unviversity honey – those places where u need more than money to get in and u actually stay there for more than a few months.

  9. Wanders? what is that? why has my post been placed as a comment? get it down!

  10. OK OK! It’s just a dang pingback from your post! These things happen when you link!

    (Why does everyone panic when they see pingbacks?)

  11. Hahahahah! Janers the Koala Bear said ‘fuckery’!


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