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I’m like an abused spouse that keeps making excuses for her husband.  Even though Orlando is cheating on me I still feel the need to defend him.

Some guy named Danny Dyer is hating on Orlando because of his success.  I guess this guy is an out of work actor or something.

Hey Danny, don’t hate the player hate the game.  Get in touch with that anger my friend.  Besides, no one really cares if Orlando can act or not, we just like looking at him.  Get it?  Stop being such a farking buzzkill.

That’s all I got today folks.  Later.



  1. Orlando is successful? Are you sure? I just ask, because I’m working on your project (yeah, I know, I’m slow, see my blog to see why) and you can barely get any dirt at all on him. He’s been pushed out of the way by Shia and Mario Lopez. Heck, even the dead Heath Ledger gets more ink than he does!

  2. Where the heck is Orly anyway? Where’s my man Colin? Where’s Viggo? Doesn’t the eye candy know it’s got to stay in front of the eye?

  3. I guess you guys haven’t been paying attention, Orly have been cavorting around Australia with his lovely and intelligent girlfriend. She’s very pretty and photogenic.

  4. What I want to know is if the guy will be in the upcoming Hobbit movie?

    • Anners Scribonia Loathes Mirandingo Kerr
    • Posted May 2, 2008 at 6:58 pm
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    • Reply

    “I do genuinely think Orlando Bloom is a c**t. I’ve never met him, but he’s in the same game as me and he’s loaded.I get a bit bitter, to be honest. I’m still living in the ghetto in East London and he’s earning three million quid (pounds) a film. He got lucky. He came out of drama school and got Lord Of The Rings. He wasn’t all that good in it, but it put him on the map, didn’t it? He’s the opposite of me. He’s got no edge to him, he’s well media-trained and, basically, he’s boring. Plus, he can’t act. And to me, that’s quite an important thing for an actor.”

    ^^^^ Hahahhahahahahahaha! I think I love this Danny fellow! Sorry Wanda, but everything he said is correct. And I’m going imagine that you were under duress when you were writing those nice things about Mirandingo two comments up. Photogenic my ass! Her face looks like a cracked egg with lipstick.

    I’m done ranting, and I do hate myself for all I just said.

  5. It’s OK Anners. I’m sure anyone who might be reading this blog (I don’t really know who, just…anyone) would realize that you’re just saying those things because you love and respect Orlando so much and only want the very best for him. You’re just not yourself right now.


  6. OK, heresa thing. Linda Hunt? Employed. Oscar winner. That really ugly guy in Spy Kids? Works alllll the time. Two words, Danny–Michael Chiklis. Two more words–Vin Diesel.

    Ya need to come to the States, mate. Don’t be wasting your time worrying about the pretty kid.

  7. Dude that was harsh. He even makes fun of James McAvoy (what a douche).

    That guy needs to get over himself. So what if whorelando is Oscar worthy, pretty people get paid a shitload in the entertainment industry for all manner of things – that’s how our ephed up society.

  8. Jeez. How can Orlando be *not* successful if everyone, everywhere knows him by just first-name reference? Most of the musicians around here would cut off and donate a body part for that kind of name recognition.

    • Anners Scribonia Loathes Mirandingo Kerr
    • Posted May 3, 2008 at 12:03 am
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    But Janers, Orly’s not even pretty anymore. And Wanda, I don’t care who reads this even if it be Orlando Bloom himself: Mirandingo SUCKS and her face looks like an EGG.

    I need a glass of Lambrusco and a man. Goodnight.

  9. What’s Lambrusco? Can I have some?

    • Anners Scribonia Loathes Mirandingo Kerr
    • Posted May 3, 2008 at 7:43 pm
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    • Reply

    It’s some cheap ass red wine, but it’s delicious. Riunite makes a stellar one…

  10. he was when he still got employment.

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