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My new BFF Vy gave me a heads up about where Orlando might be today.  Unfortunately Klausner Plumbing and Heating Supply were no help.  I decided to check out Golden Bridge Yoga, where he and the dingo were also seen yesterday taking a class.  No luck there either, but the people were super nice, and if they thought I was a stalker they didn’t let on.  They had some really kick ass jewelry in the gift shop too, so if Mr. Rizzuto is reading this I’d like to remind him that the 13th anniversary of our first date is coming up next month.

I thought for a second that I would sign up for yoga classes.  I used to swear by it and I could really stand to get into shape since Janey ruined my body, and wouldn’t it be something if Orly showed up one day and we did a yoga class together?  Just imagine, Orlando Bloom…standing behind me while I’m doing Downward Facing Dog.  With my enormous, un-Photoshopped ass in yoga pants.  And his skinny girlfriend right there watching the whole thing.  I don’t think I’ll be doing that.

I suppose if I wanted to make contact with him I could always leave a note with a receptionist in one of these places, and tell them he dropped his credit card or something and could he please contact me right away.  Or for that matter I could leave a note with his management company here in New York.  The whole time I’d go on about how I know they couldn’t possibly give out his personal information, but it’s urgent that he get in touch with me as soon as possible.  But then I’d have the same old problem. 

You know what this is starting to remind me of?  Remember the cartoon where Wile E. Coyote finally catches the Road Runner?  And he holds up a big sign that says, “OK, I caught him, now what do you want me to do with him?”  That.

This would all be so much easier if he’d just stop by the blog and say hi, don’t you think?

Anyway, unless I get a really hot tip I’m done stalking for this week.  I’m going away this weekend anyway so Orly will just have to find a way to get along without me.

By the way Stevo, about the sky writing?  Let’s just say you’d better start clicking on those ads.



  1. Woo-hoo, Sissy, look at all the yoga ads! You used to swear by yoga? Me too! My party trick used to be touching the floor behind my head with my toes…Yoga been very very good to me! 😉

  2. It reminds me of one of my favorite cartoon characters…the Road Runner.

    Beep Beep!

  3. BFF? I’m blushing, Wanda. 🙂

    And if Anners is reading this, I think you’re cool beans as well.

    Love all around!

  4. That’s nice. Blame your daughter for your out-of-shapedness. Heh heh… That’s what I do!


  5. Wanda: I do, everyday.

  6. * That was sad and hilarious what you said about Janey. Shame on you. Hee Hee. 🙂

    Wanda, you’re going to run into Orlando one of these days without even trying to. You need to have a speech rehearsed for when that day happens.

    * Hi Vy!

  7. Stevo, that’s why you’re my main man, behind Mr. Rizzuto, Dante, Orlando and a few other people.

    It’s totally true what I said about Janey! Right after she was born I lost all my baby weight, then gained it back. Now if I so much as look at a candy bar I’ll wake up with another ass. (She was worth it though.)

  8. Anners, would you care to write the speech?

  9. You can stop searching for Orlando in NY from next Wednesday. Apparently the love rat is jetting into Sydney with the dingHo for a weeks holiday. She’s got some work to do for David Jones (the department store) and will represent them at Randwick Race Course where DJs has a marquee at the track.

    I have that horrible sinking feeling about an engagement again since it’s her birthday in a few days and she’ll be in her own country.

  10. Yeah, I read about that Joders. You know what this means, don’t you? Now you’re the one who has to find him and tackle him.

    Make sure you put one of my t-shirts in the go-bag.

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