My new BFF Vy gave me a heads up about where Orlando might be today. Unfortunately Klausner Plumbing and Heating Supply were no help. I decided to check out Golden Bridge Yoga, where he and the dingo were also seen yesterday taking a class. No luck there either, but the people were super nice, and if they thought I was a stalker they didn’t let on. They had some really kick ass jewelry in the gift shop too, so if Mr. Rizzuto is reading this I’d like to remind him that the 13th anniversary of our first date is coming up next month.
I thought for a second that I would sign up for yoga classes. I used to swear by it and I could really stand to get into shape since Janey ruined my body, and wouldn’t it be something if Orly showed up one day and we did a yoga class together? Just imagine, Orlando Bloom…standing behind me while I’m doing Downward Facing Dog. With my enormous, un-Photoshopped ass in yoga pants. And his skinny girlfriend right there watching the whole thing. I don’t think I’ll be doing that.
I suppose if I wanted to make contact with him I could always leave a note with a receptionist in one of these places, and tell them he dropped his credit card or something and could he please contact me right away. Or for that matter I could leave a note with his management company here in New York. The whole time I’d go on about how I know they couldn’t possibly give out his personal information, but it’s urgent that he get in touch with me as soon as possible. But then I’d have the same old problem.
You know what this is starting to remind me of? Remember the cartoon where Wile E. Coyote finally catches the Road Runner? And he holds up a big sign that says, “OK, I caught him, now what do you want me to do with him?” That.
This would all be so much easier if he’d just stop by the blog and say hi, don’t you think?
Anyway, unless I get a really hot tip I’m done stalking for this week. I’m going away this weekend anyway so Orly will just have to find a way to get along without me.
By the way Stevo, about the sky writing? Let’s just say you’d better start clicking on those ads.