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Stop stealing my shit!

This means you.

And you.

And you.

I know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery (or whatever they say) but I am not flattered.  I’m kinda pissed.  So stop stealing my essesnce.  Write your own shit.

In other news, I’m going away this weekend so I’m leaving you with a project.  I was remarking to a co-worker that none of America’s lyrics make any sense.  She says it’s because I’m not high enough when I listen to them.  I don’t get high at all.  Maybe that’s my problem.

So, who can tell me what this song’s about?  Whoever can give me a plausible explanation by Monday morning wins an official Deadpan coffee mug.  Yes, my ass will be on it.

(Bonus bonus: whoever can tell me what “Horse With No Name” is about gets a turn with Orlando when I find him.)



  1. A turn with him doing what?

    I went and left a comment on plagiarizer number 1 (moderated, want to bet if it shows up?) and sent nastygrams to number 2 and 3–I’m pretty sure the Germans can read English well enough to understand the word PLAGIARISM.


  2. I’m guessing that “sharing the gift of gab” means passing the bong, or possibly the hookah, since there’s all the nice water references later–what’s interesting is that when you combine that with the “oz never did give nothing to the tin man that he didn’t didn’t already have” what you get is, it’s perfectly possible to get high on the people around you, sans recreational chemicals.

    thaaaat’s my take, as an old non-hippy…

  3. Wenches.

    Bon Voyage, Wanders! Oh, and I’ll work on the Billy Boyd connection… (no one will understand this, I’m prepared to look like a freak for your sake).

  4. Thanks Sissy! I left comments and e-mails myself, also in moderation. I even had Daners fire off an e-mail in German. We’ll see what happens. And I’ll meditate on your explanation.

    Anners, you rock the Kasbah as usual. I’ll give Daners a big kiss for you!

  5. What the hell? R those joke sites, why are they posting your spoof? R u beginning to worry that more idiots will read this and u will end up sinking some innocent guy’s career even further down the toilet?

    I pulled this off wiki about the song:

    It was written on a rainy day in England and was intended to capture the feel of the hot, dry desert Bunnell remembered from his childhood at Vandenberg Air Force Base.[1]

    I’ll take the mug but you get to keep the pirate herp all to yourself.

  6. Yeah…but what about this part:

    “…when I say I’m spinnning round round round round
    Smoked glass stained bright colors
    Image going down down down down
    Soap suds green like bubbles…”

    What about that? What the hell does that mean?

    Have a toke and get back to me, then we’ll talk about the mug.

    (I haven’t even left yet, this is supposed to keep you guys occupied all weekend!)

  7. There is a degree of high-ness required to fully grasp the meaning of those lyrics. I spent part of the morning working on it for you.

    I dusted off the old hi-fi, set down the stylus and was soon grooving to the mellow sounds of America (don’t tell anyone but, while waiting for proper interpretive conditions to be met, I warmed up with some Bread). As the tunes swirled in my head and I was taken back to another time and place I had a moment of stunning clarity and knew exactly what it all meant as I found myself going down down down to the kitchen, where there was a piece of cherry pie left in the fridge, along with some Ben & Jerry’s vanilla in the freezer.

    Hope this helps.

    As for the plagiarizers, you know how I feel about them. Still I must bow at your feet for becoming a brief, shining internet phenomenon.

    • Daners Isadora Is Phucking Phierce!
    • Posted April 4, 2008 at 9:17 am
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    I left another email in German to the German bitchez, this time sounding all legal and shit. Well see what happens there. \

    And on the second one, my shizz went to moderation, too. Bitchez.

    However, I think you’re totally brilliant and secretly in love with the fact other places are running with this as if it were real.

    • Bunny Dixonjugs Is Daners' Bond Girl Name
    • Posted April 4, 2008 at 9:23 am
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    And I sent you an email about Saturday

  8. Damn, Wanda. You’re a bona fide celebrity now. Especially if people all over the world are stealing your stuff! Maybe I can get my son to respond to the German one. He needs to make use of the five years of German he took. At least a little more than asking for a beer.

    As for America, I believe the devil band was put together as a satire on Neil Young, hence the squeaky voice of the lead singer. He’s actually better than Neil Young. So the “Horse With No Name” is a heavily veiled reference to Neil Young’s tune “Needle and the Damage Done.”

    (I really don’t know if that’s the case. I just made that up. It sounds good though.)

  9. Wanda, file a complaint with wordpress.

  10. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had such a large issue with people taking your articles. However, I’m sad to say that it is becoming much more common these days.

    If you want, I’ll gladly look at the three cases and see what we can do about them. The first is easily resolved as it is a blog and we can file a DMCA notice to get that one taken down, I’ll have to look up the hosts on the other two.

    If you want any help, please just drop me a line. I’ll gladly do what I can!

  11. Hey Jonathan! Thanks, I did intend to go to the DMCA thing, I just don’t have a minute to do it right now, as I’m travelling. (I know, I keep saying that, I’m really leaving in 7 minutes).

    I’ll give you a shout on Monday perhaps. Thanks for stopping by, tell your friends!

  12. That dailydish one got us too. Buttheads!

    My connection is too slow today to be able to catch the tune. I’m just gonna put on another Dead tape and listen to it instead.

  13. Wanda: What are the TOS at blogcritics? Do you retain copyright to your material?

  14. Just sounds like someone is describing their hallucinations.

  15. A horse with no name…

    Clearly that song is about Clint Eastwood.

One Trackback/Pingback

  1. […] Friday I had a contest where I asked all of you to decipher a song by America.  The winner of the contest and official […]

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