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Howdy, faithful reader!

It’s Good Friday 2008 and I’m sitting in a hotel room somewheres with the other 3 Rizzutos.  Never mind why.  Seeing as how it’s a slow blogging weekend I thought I’d share some random thoughts with you.

I sent Mr. Rizzuto out for some alcohol a few minutes ago.  I asked him to get me some of what’s affectionately known in the Rizzuto household as Lady Duff.  As you Simpsons fans know, Duff is Homer Simpson’s favorite beer.  I like wine coolers (Bacardi, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, whatever).  Mr. Rizzuto calls it Lady Duff.

Once I asked Mr. Rizzuto to buy me some Lady Duff and because he’s a wiseass he came back with a 40 oz St. Ides wine cooler.  It tasted like beer with Kool Aid in it.  He didn’t even give it to me in a paper bag.  This time he came back with a box of wine, vintage Tuesday.  I’m drinking it of course.  That Mr. Rizzuto is a class act.

Being in this hotel reminds me of a little getaway Mr. Rizzuto and I have in Linden, New Jersey.  When you’ve got two small beasts it’s not very easy to get away.  We found this quaint little motel last year when my parents were in town.  I thought it was great until we went back again this year.  Just as we pulled into the parking lot Mr. Rizzuto started to reminisce about the previous year when he heard the hooker upstairs coming in and out every 30 minutes or so.  Of course, I never knew about that and by the time he mentioned it we had already paid for the room.  But he assured me that everything would be OK this time because we were on the second floor and wouldn’t be able to hear the bed bouncing around.

A real class act, that one.

In other news, I owe my excellent friend Anners a huge apology.  On another post I called her a sea hag.  That wasn’t very nice, but in my own defense I called her that without really knowing what a sea hag was.  Luckily I found this blog about New Haven folklore and now I see the error of my ways.  My humblest apologies, Anners dear.  I know you’re not from Connecticut.

sea-hag.jpg

^ Not Anners

Mr. Rizzuto doesn’t like my gray hair.  I keep telling him it’s punk rock, but he’s not buying it.  He told me to tell you he calls it Devonian rock, which I guess is funny if you’re a science teacher.  I bought a box of hair dye and I’m going to color my hair just as soon as I have a few more hits off the box.  I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Why is Danny Bonaduce on TV?  Watching a 12-year-old boy tap dance?  And a little girl krunking?

Oh. My. God.

I need another swig.

I’m back.

You’d think that since there’s a 7-year age difference between my beasts they wouldn’t fight over stuff.  Wrong!  But they do love Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends, which is the best cartoon ever.

My stupid boyfriend boy toy* is going to Hong Kong to film a new movie.  I told myself that he quit his other job because he didn’t want to go to London and be away from me, but I guess we all know the truth.  So here’s a video in his honor:

*Mr. Rizzuto hates dislikes it when I call him my boyfriend.

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17 Comments

  1. I luuuuuuurve Mikes Hard Lemonade!!!!

    The latest news that I’ve heard about the Toy Boy’s new movie is that it’s called The Red Circle and is supposedly based on a French movie called Le Cercle Rouge and is supposedly about the French Underworld.

    I’m not sure how Kung Fu factors into the equation but I see Orly more as a French Underworld figure than I do as a Kung Fu Fighter!

    And why the hell can’t the movie be filmed in LA or NY? Surely the director would love an opportunity to get out of Hong Kong for a few months?

  2. No, I’ve changed my mind. I’m glad Orly is coming to Hong Kong. It’ll get him out of the clutches of that so called girlfriend (no, not you Wanda, I’m talking about the dingo).

    I just saw photos of the two of them shopping in a Ducati motorcycle shop for a motorcycle (I guess that’s what you buy in a motorcycle store).

    He needs to be away from her.

    I still love Mikes Hard Lemondade. And Vodka Cruisers. Maybe I need one now. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere in the world I’m sure.

  3. My comment got eaten.

    It’s so awesome that you can get Mike’s in Oz. BTW, I’m watching The Wizard of Oz right now!

    Screw that dingo. It’s 9 o’clock here. Cheers!

    • Anners Scribonia Bloom Cola Gorda Antiochus III
    • Posted March 21, 2008 at 10:08 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    * That clip is prob going to be better than his lame ass movie.

    * HAHAHA! That Sea Hag is so fugly! Wanda, that was almost character assassination… but thank you for rectifying. And why is the seag hag walking around with a vulture on her head? Are there vultures in pelagic zones?

    * Mr. Rizzuto’s joke was funny. Devonian rock. hee hee. (sorry).

    * Have A Good Easter Everybody.

  4. I think I’m getting high off the fumes from your vintage Tuesday wine! I could have sworn that sentence in your post said, “…You’d think that since there’s a seven year age difference between my BREASTS…” I’m still cracking up!

  5. Cheap hotel, box of wine, coloring your hair? Sounds like you’re on the lam.

    And, like, I’m going to believe you didn’t know what a sea hag is! Nice “apology” though.

    I also read “beasts” as breasts. Twice. I’m glad to know your breasts are not different ages and that you are able to get away in spite of them being small.

    Tell Mr. R that your hair has mother of pearl highlights. Devonian rock is kind of funny but I bet he only said it because your wine is in a box and getting hit with a box is less painful than getting hit with a big glass jug.

    Danny Bonaduce is an irritant.

    Danny Bonaduce is an irritant.

  6. He bothers me to no end but I’m pretty sure I didn’t type that twice. Must be the bloody Mary breakfast drink. Made with V-8, I get a whole supply of vitamins in every glass!

  7. If I wasn’t the only triplet who didn’t color her hair, I would say that coloring hair is for wussies. I did color my hair the other day. I sprayed it full of purple spray. It was fun. And no, I didn’t look like a sea hag, and Mike’s was not involved. I don’t have to drink, I can act like an idiot without it…hee…

    • Anners Scribonia Bloom Cola Gorda Antiochus III
    • Posted March 22, 2008 at 2:50 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    Thank you for having my back, Quill! That really wasn’t much of an apology…

  8. It says beasts. I checked.

  9. Count your blessings. It could be a hotel wherein Mr. Rizzuto heard the hooker coming and going every ten minutes.

    I always gauge the classiness of a hotel based on the “Whore Interval,” as it’s known in mathematical and professional hospitality circles. The longer the interval between prostitute visits, the swankier the joint. Personally, I never stay at less than a 90-minute Whore Interval hotel.

  10. Still looks like “breasts” to me. Oh, and the wine will taste better if you buy a cheap wine glass. Really, it will.

  11. Brilliant David, brilliant.

    Donna, you are such a snob. Plastic hotel cups are too good for you I guess.

  12. Hong Kong Phooey was the best work Scatman Crothers ever did. Loved that clip.

    And I’m a Zima with lime girl myself. Although I try to class it up with cosmo’s here or there. The class effect is somewhat ruined by my inability to not spill it over the edge of the martini glass however.

  13. Hey, that was Scatman, wasn’t it? And I was just watching The Shining too.

  14. I don’t know who Wenderina is but I am going to let the Zima thing go and say that anyone who knows Scatman did Hong Kong Phooey is okay in my book.

  15. Gray hair is punk rock.

    It recently dawned on me that I have reached the age at which dying my hair will elicit assumptions that I am attempting to cover gray. I know this because I was asked, “you’re getting gray hair?” when I dyed my hair red last year. I answered, “No…it’s red…I’m going red.”


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