Why is it that every time some brainless celebrity has a baby people have to go on about it so? Like it’s the first time a woman has ever given birth in the history of the universe?
In the latest slap in the face to mothers everywhere (and, dare I say, womanhood in general) People was alleged to have paid $1 million for pictures of Nicole Ritchie’s newborn. I wonder if these pearls of wisdom were thrown in at no extra charge:
“She gives life a whole new meaning and a whole new purpose,” says Ms. Ritchie.
Wow, that’s deep. She’s also worried that she won’t be her old party-girl self anymore.
“…(s)ometimes I’ll be here and I’ll think to myself, ‘I used to be fun! What if I’m not fun anymore?'”
I’ve got news for Nicole. She was never that much fun, unless you consider watching her lure the paparazzi into the drive-thru so they could photograph her eating a cheeseburger fun. I guess it sorta was.
The only thing stupider than paying Nicole Ritchie that kind of money for baby pictures is writing an article about Hollywood’s most influential children. Like these kids did the world a huge favor just by being born. Duh.
Again I ask, why? Why pay so much attention to someone who became famous by being Paris Hilton’s sidekick? Is it because she stayed out of prison long enough to procreate? Does she want a medal or a monument?
Forgive me for pointing this out, but lots of women have had babies, with varying degrees of success. Ugly women. Poor women. Thin women. Comatose women for God’s sake. Hell, even I had a couple. Where’s my million? If you give me a million dollars I promise I’ll keep my trap shut and not have a hissy fit, K?
So the next time you want to congratulate some bimbo for doing something that’s easily accomplished by a vegetable, think about this: there’s a whole lot more to being a parent than giving birth and being skinny a month later. If Nicole Ritchie or Christina Aguilera want to impress me, let them come home to a sinkful of dirty dishes and projectile vomit after working a 10 hour day. That I’d pay money to see.
Wait, no I wouldn’t.