OK, maybe it’s really old news. It’s breaking news to me because I just heard about it. My boyfriend Orlando has been nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award.
For those of you who have never heard of The Razzies, it is an annual award given to the worst of the worst in film. I guess you could call it the anti-Oscars. Orlando was nominated for Worst Supporting Actor for his performance in Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End.
The funny thing is, I wouldn’t even have know about it if I hadn’t visited one of the Orlando Bloom message boards. They have officially, expressly forbidden discussion of The Razzies because, according to them, it would be pointless. Everyone’s just going to say he didn’t deserve it, so why even bother discussing such a painful subject?
Are they sure about that? I’m just saying. Don’t look at me, because if you want to know the truth about it I never saw the damn movie in the first place. I know, I know. I told you I wasn’t cut out for the stalking business. Look, I saw the first one and tried to watch the second but, eh, Kiera Knightly? Meh.
Anyway, I think the message board ladies should probably get over themselves. I mean, I like to think that Orlando would have a sense of humor about these things. Really, wasn’t it totally cool when Natalie Wood accepted her Hasty Pudding award for being the Worst Actress in the World? Come on, that was cool.
In other news, there seems to be a small chance that Orlando has read my blog. People (like Mr. Rizzuto and my bud Pandemonic) have asked me repeatedly if I thought Orlando was aware of my existence. I’ve always thought not, but according to this guy’s logic, Orlando should have discovered my blog by now. So if you’re reading this Mr. Bloom, I must ask you this: WTF? How much longer are you going to let me debase myself all over the Internet? Would it kill you to leave a sister one lousy comment? Can’t you e-mail a sister? Gawd.
While we wait for him to answer, I’ll leave you with this message for my bud Anners. Anners dear, aren’t you ashamed of yourself? He’s laughing at you for God’s sake!