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Dear Orlando,

I’m disgusted with you.

When I think of all the nights I spent huddled in a corner in my closet, crying my eyes out, clutching an empty box of KFC, well it just burns my toast.

“Ghetto booty Wanda,” they all said.  “He don’t do chubby,” they all said.  “He likes hungry blondes,” they all said.

Well, if you like hungry blondes so much, how do you explain this:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

So it’s like that, huh?  You finally admit that you like full-figured black women and you’re cheating on me already?  What kinda shit is that? 

You know I’m not one to step to another sister so maybe you ought to start thinking about how to cut her loose.  You’d better do it soon too because I’m already thinking about maybe not writing you so many letters anymore.  I might cut down to two or three times a month.  You’d like that wouldn’t you?

Yours,

Wanda

P.S.  So what is she anyway?  About a size 12, 14?  I can do size 14.  Just give me about six weeks, K?

Editorial note:  I wasn’t going to write to Orlando again so soon but my blog stats told me in no uncertain terms that you’d rather read this crap than hear me rant about politics.  The lunatics have spoken!

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28 Comments

  1. OK, someone bring me a box of Dunkin Donuts, stat!

    • thelittlefluffycat
    • Posted November 18, 2007 at 7:27 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    Puh-leeze, she’s at least an 18. TWO boxes. Cream-filled.

  2. Yeah Wanda. So like you shouldn’t write to him so often anymore. Let him come beg you to write to him. Shoot! Don’t stop at 14 either, go all out. Hit 16!

  3. You’re going to have to age a few years too!

    • eclecticheretic
    • Posted November 18, 2007 at 11:52 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    Damn. I came here looking for a rant about politics.

  4. My favourite part of this post is the editorial note.

    I’m not following the whims of my stats or I’d be almost exclusively writing about how I don’t wear panties to work. I mean, I don’t but … well … isn’t saying it once enough?

  5. Poor Wanda. Dissed again.

  6. I have to give my public what they want BGG.

  7. Jaysus! Help me finish this box of Krispy Kremes.

  8. He’s a real hewhore, that Orlando.

  9. Wanda, you should actually write to him more often because those letters are awesome stuff… am I the reason your Orlando stats are skewed?

    Orly actually does poorly in my blog stats… my peoples are not into the Beautiful Menfolk, and that’s just a damned shame.

    ^ He looks dorky in that pic. Haha.

  10. Don’t fear, Wanda, I don’t think he was with the woman in the photo. It was the dog, he wanted to befriend it.

  11. The blond dog, Stevo?

    Orlando is so hot! ssssss

    I didn’t care much for his character in Pride & Prejudice because he was the dorky bad guy, but I’ve like him just about everywhere else.

  12. liked, duh, it’s late and the baby won’t sleep…

  13. Anners, I don’t know. All I know is that when I wrote about the death penalty people stayed away in droves.

    Marilee, I don’t think that was him in Pride & Prejudice. But it’s great to see you anyway!

  14. Oh, hey Heathenly, do you know Anners? She refers to him as Whorelando.

  15. Yea Marilee! Another friend escapes the old neighborhood!

  16. Wanda, you are quickly becoming my newest hero.

  17. Hi Danae1!

    I guess since I’m your new hero I should be a good netizen and stop your blog, eh? I’ll check you out later.

  18. Well, I’m ditching that one for a different one. But, love to have you by!

  19. I wouldn’t be concerned about the death penalty post and lack of page views, it’s been a slow couple of weeks in the blogosphere.

  20. Honey, you are so much hotter than that bitch ho.

    Orlando must be out of his mind.

    Tell him I said so.

  21. Hey Orlando! David says I’m hot!

  22. Hey! Whats up with that? I thought we wuz tight, now I find out about Orlando? Why, I oughta break his skinny little chicken neck. He’s no good for you.

  23. Aw, it’s cool JoJo! There’s plenty (and I mean plenty) of Wanda to go around.

  24. building websites is not only fun, nonetheless it are also able to buying and selling websites for your self..

  25. I dont think it is. I think that not only does the fact that this is a ripoff of Facemash speak poorly to the creativity of BU and our reputation at large, it is clear that this clown and his posse have not considered the human element in their work. I dont understand how you can watch The Social Network and walk out of it thinking that a Facemash clone is a good idea. That would be sort of like walking out of Avatar and deciding that genocide is a good idea.

  26. What is generosity often is around disguised ambition, which overlooks a smaller involvement in order to secure a great one.


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