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I’m comfortable with my sexuality.  Comfortable enough to write a post like this.  In keeping with the theme “People I’d Totally Sleep With (Because I’m Desperate For Page Views), I give you my list of perfect women.  And you can keep your Britneys, Pam Andersons and Jessica Simpsons, I’m going for the whole woman. 

You know you would too! 

Halle Berry.  But I’m blocking out the whole Billy Bob thing.

Despite what Harvey Keitel said about her in Taxi Driver…. 

Jodie Foster.  Still a Foxafter all these years!  (Whatever happened to Punky Meadows anyway?)

Britney, if she was Colombian, had a brain, a life and talent. 

Shakira.  I dont’ think I need to say anything else about that.

And in keeping with the Latina theme….

Salma Hayek.  Any woman who’s not afraid to sport a unibrow is cool with me.

I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT ALICIA KEYS!

I am so totally sorry Alicia!  You’re beautiful, you’re talented, you’re just as brilliant as Jodie Foster, and I’ve been playing you to death on my IPod.  Can you ever forgive me?

Funny thing, I struggled over these last two posts.  There just aren’t many people I want to mess with I guess.  So stay tuned for People Everyone Wants To Sleep With Except Me.

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9 Comments

  1. What? No comments?

    I think Salma Hayek is, not only gorgeous but very talented and business savvy!

    I am not really a Halle Berry fan but she is very talented and a real looker, too.

    I know no one likes her but I like Julia Roberts. She comes across as a very real and genuine person. Not at all phony.

  2. I’d sleep with Jodi Foster even if I wasn’t a lesbian.

    Hey! I’m not. And, one of the things I quite like about Jodi Foster is she reminds me of my sweetie.

    The middle sentence in your final paragraph says pretty much why I wasn’t able to whip together a post with the same title (or any of the titles in this series).

    I was thinking I’d have to do something with ‘sleep with’ versus ‘stay awake in bed with’ since I have slept with a fair number of people — and I mean slept with not stayed awake in bed with. But, now that I’ve said it here, I’ve saved myself the bother of having to post at all.

  3. Ooo, la la. I’d sleep with Shakira in a New York minute. Could you imagine that slumber party? Hey, does she swing both ways? Thanks for bringing her up.

  4. STOP THE PRESSES! I FORGOT ALICIA KEYS!

  5. Damn, I hope Alicia’s not mad at me now.

    Pan, I don’t know which way Shakira swings. I’ll let you know if I find out anything.

  6. Oh, and Shakira is part Lebanese.

  7. I’d go for the quiet classy type myself. Don’t get me wrong – Shakira can shake it like nobody’s business. But I’d like a little less naked lust and a little more romance.

    My husband and I both have a crush on Natalie Portman. Ever since she was in Beautiful Girls and could have caused a pedofilic movement with her performance opposite Timothy Hutton. I think it’s cuz she has that Audrey Hepburn thing. Little black dress, pearls, gamine face…yup…makes my hetero heart go pitty pat.

  8. I must be too hetero to even think of who I would sleep with if I were a lesbian. I just can’t think of anyone. In fact, I couldn’t think of any men I’d sleep with after your other post.

    I’m just old. I don’t think of those things anymore.

  9. Scout, your comment cracked me up!


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