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We interrupt our regularly scheduled program (People I’d Totally Sleep With If I Were A Lesbian) for this earth-shattering news.  Dog, the bounty hunter and erstwhile reality television star, has announced that he isn’t Us.

Mr. Dog recently had a hissy fit regarding his son’s girlfriend (a Sister).  Dog Jr., the ungrateful bastard, taped the epithet-laced tirade and sold it to the National Enquirer.

“I thought that I was cool enough in the black world to be able to use that word as a brother to a brother,” says Mr. Dog. “I’m not.”

He isn’t.

Mr. Dog, undoubtedly giving new life to the term “mullet head,” continued to stun his fans and well-wishers with the following statement:

“I didn’t know really know until three or four days ago what (the n-word) meant to black people.”

You don’t say.  This reporter has not heard such breathtaking introspection since Jennifer Lopez suddenly remembered she was Puerto Rican.

In related news, Mr. Dog has announced his plans to be interred in a slave burial ground near George Washington’s home in Mount Vernon.

“I want to be buried right where they’re at because I will never be forgiven as (long as) I’m alive,” he said.

There goes the neighborhood.

Editorial note:  I didn’t make this up.

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16 Comments

  1. am i cool enough wifey?

  2. Of course dear. But if you do it I’ll have to kill you.

    • the little fluffy cat
    • Posted November 8, 2007 at 9:58 pm
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    • Reply

    That would be sad. Of course, Dog the Bounty Hunter is sad, too. So it would be appropriate.

  3. I think Dog the Bounty Hunter was a sad comment on humanity even before this latest episode. What a poor excuse for a human that one is.

  4. That’s funny. I always thought he was black.

    I’m so glad that show is history. A and E is one of the only channels I’ll watch, and I couldn’t stomach the Dog. I hope they fill up that empty spot with more American Justice. That would be justice, all right.

  5. Seems Dog should have been watching his idiot mouth.

    Makes me wonder what he did to the kid to cause him to out his dad that way.

  6. Oh! Man! Your regularly scheduled program is brilliant. I’m going to have to write a post on this program. No. Not just one. Several.

  7. Im black and i could care less about what Dog said, either way, that poor old fart is finished. I cant believe his son/flesh+blood sold him out like that, ouch! Talk about your cold shoulder!

    • Joel (the frog with cat ears)
    • Posted November 9, 2007 at 1:12 pm
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    • Reply

    Dog is more like a cat. He is an almost perfect narcissist. That’s the only reason I watch him. I think a Dog and Rosie or a Dog and Oprah show would be great.

  8. Hi Joel!

  9. I have never seen Dog, other than in ridiculous press photos. We had a long discussion about this last night over draft beer. I don’t remember if any light was shed on the subject.

  10. Stevo, there is no “light” to be shed on THAT subject!

  11. I’m more offended by his hair… and his costumes.

    And what is this ‘black world’ he speaks of? It sounds cool!

  12. Oh, it is Anners. We listen to Barry White from sun up to sun down and eat grits and gravy to our hearts content. And not a mullet around for miles!

  13. I was wondering how come you didn’t link to a recording or transcript of the guy’s rant so we know what he had said. Then I looked it up and now I know why you didn’t. Excuse my while I revisit my dinner.

  14. Was there a recording?

    Never mind. Don’t answer that.


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