Skip navigation

Last week, as you know, was Halloween.  One of my office peeps went to the annual parade in Greenwich Village and remarked on how many nice young men dressed up in “Dick in a Box” costumes.  I have almost no use for Justin Timberlake, but even I have to admit that sketch was funny.

(You’ve seen Dick in a Box, haven’t you?  If you haven’t, please click on the link.  Really, it’ll be important to the story later.  Go on, I’ll wait.)

As a result, I’ve lost control of my staff.  “Dick in a Box” is now the catchphrase around the office.  This is how conversations have been lately:

Me:  Didn’t I ask you to clear off your desk yesterday?

Them:  Dick in a Box!

Me:  You’re late coming back from lunch.

Them:  It’s my Dick in a Box!

No one respects my authori-tah.  OK, maybe I brought it on myself.  I did make them watch Bell Biv DeVoe and Soul For Real videos on YouTube all afternoon Friday, but that’s beside the point.

Case in point:  L.G.  Remember L.G.?  She’s the one I’ve had spearhead my campaign to find Orlando Bloom.  She’s turned out to be a major disappointment.  Every time I ask her about her progress she gives me some hooey about Jessica Simpson having him on a short leash.  That Orlando/Jessica thing was debunked weeks ago.  Does she think I’m that dumb?

I reminded her the other day that my birthday was a little over a month away and she was really going to have to get a move-on.  She swore she was on top of it, but I’ve completely lost faith in her.  It’s very sad really.

The other day I was puttering around her desk and I found the printout I had given her about sending fan mail.  One paragraph in particular caught my eye.  It said:

“If you want to request an autograph, follow the guidelines bellow. If you just want to mail a letter with the address above, and do not want anything back, then you can stop reading! If you live in USA send a properly stamped and self addressed envelope (minimum size 8.5″ x 4″) with your request letter and a photo. You can include a piece of cardboard to keep the photo from bending in shipping and also add “Do Not Bend” on the envelopes. Send your letter and wait.”

Well, it isn’t his autograph that I’m after.  Still, the spirit of the instructions were clear, and it gave me an idea.  I believe this is what the New Agers call “synchronicity.” 

So, here’s the latest package I’ve sent to Orlando.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I fully expect to get better results from this one because, unlike the last fan letter I wrote, I actually mailed this one.

You’re probably worried that I’ve gone off the deep end and that there’s going to be a police report filed on me any minute now.  Well, you might be right about my mental state, but I signed L.G.’s name to the package.  They got nothing on me.  Besides, it’s high time someone taught that girl a lesson about insubordination.



  1. LOL! No proofreading or editing needed here!

    Be sure to let us know as soon as your reply arrives!

  2. I’ll have to watch the vid later in my office. I hope people comment here so that I am reminded to come back here.

    • the little fluffy cat
    • Posted November 6, 2007 at 10:08 am
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    LOL! 🙂

  3. Lol! My husband showed me that vid and I think it’s hilarous. 😀

    P.S. You’re welcome to Orlando Bloom’s…not my type, but I see his appeal. 😉

  4. Poo. I can’t watch that link here. I mean I can’t watch it in Canada, not just not in my office.

  5. Phooey!

  6. Oh my, this was so funny. I wish you could have heard me cackle. First of all, the video is hilarious. But your post is the best.

  7. Glad you liked it Pan. You should have seen the look on Mr. Rizzuto’s face when I a)asked him repeatedly if we had a box, b)asked him to help me cut a hole in it and c)asked him to take a picture.

  8. Finally! I finally found a really good blog through the NaBloRando. Thanks for the video link. I am borrowing it for a post tomorrow.

    Have fun with the November writing challenge…

  9. I think I cried the first time I watched that video and with posts like yours, it just keeps getting better.

  10. Thanks Fringes, Jerrific. Tell your friends!

  11. I hadn’t seen the video but I knew exactly what it was. This old girl has been around the block a few times. It was actually a gag some of the guys pulled in college, many moons ago.

    Nicely done. Now the waiting!

  12. Hey,I found you on randomizer and glad I did.
    After I saw that video on SNL, I had a new respect for JT. Now I’m even liking his music, for some weird reason … I mean, the video wasn’t THAT good!
    Hey, I bet Orlando will respond this time 🙂

  13. Laughing too hard to type!

  14. Cool! I just found you on randomizer too. Then again, I already knew you were here.

  15. BGG, you crack me up!

  16. Gotta love that randomizer! As you may have noticed, I’ll say almost anything for more page views.

  17. That hole may be too big for Orly — trust.

  18. Yeah…it looks a lot bigger in the pic Anners. It’s actually quite a small box.

  19. I did find this site on the randomizer. How was that funny? Are you supposed to say when you find this place using the randomizer?

  20. Oh. My. God. I haven’t watched SNL in so long and that was hysterical. I totally didn’t get your box until I went to the link..(duh)…I can’t wait to send this link to…EVERYONE.

One Trackback/Pingback

  1. By Deadpan » Vote Early, Vote Often on 26 Dec 2007 at 7:59 pm

    […] slacked off a little bit lately, and he hasn’t answered any of my letters. I thought the “dick in a box” thing would get his attention for sure, but no such luck. So I’ve made it my new year’s […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: