Time to Rent Troy and Fire Up The Hand-Held Shower!

I am in hell.  I’m supposed to be closing on my new house Monday and I’m still fooling around with the mortgage company.  Assholes.  The broker got into a fight with the real estate agent today and I just know that no matter how much money I bring to closing they’re gonna jack me for a few extra thousand dollars.    Do I look like I have a few extra thousand dollars?  As it is I’m going through the couch cushions.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

My son Dante is an aspiring actor.  He goes to drama class every Saturday morning and he’s really quite good, he can cry on cue and everything.  A while back I bought him a book of children’s monologues and dialogues.  Last night he was looking through it when he stumbled on a dialogue from The Diary of Anne Frank.

“Hey, we’re reading this in school,” he said.  Mr. Rizzuto and I both thought it was a little strange, I mean Anne Frank is a little intense for fourth graders.

My Super Sweet Sixteen

(Editorial note:  Wanda is a very busy bee folks, so I’ve recycled a post.  My apologies if you’ve read this elsewhere.) 

My husband, Mr. Rizzuto, is going to photograph a sweet sixteen party in a couple of months. For some reason he thinks that he (and, well, I) should watch “My Super Sweet Sixteen” on MTV. Research and all that.  The only time I ever watched this show was when I was stuck between seminars at a conference in Seattle this past summer. For those of you who are unfamiliar, every episode follows an enormously bratty, rich spoiled kid while he/she/it plans the ultimate Super Sweet Sixteen party. The children demand the hottest party in (whatever city) with the biggest Hummer, the bestest venue and the famousest rock star/rapper in MTV-land.  And a Mercedes.

Because Sometimes Only Mom Will Do

If I had to guess, I’d say I’ve probably been thrown up on about 75 times this weekend.  Poor Janey has a stomach virus.  She’s been yacking every couple of hours like clockwork since Saturday.  Just when you think there’s nothing left in her stomach…bwaaah!  After she’s gone a few hours without puking and you think she’s out of the woods…bwaaah!  The upside is that after a while there really is nothing left so she mostly just dry heaves.  That’s a good thing when she’s sleeping next to you.

We have it down to a science now.  As soon as she starts heaving we pick her up and point her, well, anywhere, as long as it isn’t toward the laptop.  Mr. Rizzuto insists on giving her Pedialyte even though she can’t hold it down.  His theory is that an electrolyte or two has to end up in her system before she throws it back up again.

Since Janey hasn’t stopped puking even long enough to sleep for a few hours in a row, I’m very tired.  I can’t be mad at her though, because every time she gets sick she holds her arms up to me and says “he’p me Mommy!”  She’s usually Daddy’s little princess, but at times like these I’m the only one she’ll allow near her.  I can’t even let her off my lap without her crying.

I guess I’ll sleep when I’m dead.